Dating and Power [Be a Rockstar]

These posts are meant to lead you be your most empowered self and help you overcome those things that are holding you back from reaching your goals. Some of this might resonate with you, or not, and I’m not here to judge anyone or their actions, only to give you something to think about.

You can either be an empowered single or you can be a desperate and needy one. Singles who are empowered do much better in the dating world than those who are not. There are so many opportunities for others to take your power (among other things), especially if you are desperately looking for love or if you are in a vulnerable state after a breakup or trauma.

This is why it is so important to ensure that all your “issues” are dealt with BEFORE you seriously look for love. That is the best way to ensure that you will not be used and abused by those who are waiting in the shadows to pounce on the next vulnerable person they find, and yes they do exist but so do a lot of good people who will pass you by if you clearly have baggage.

How do you avoid this and find the best kind of love in your life? You make sure you go through life with a FULL CUP. This means that you are self-sufficient, you are mentally, emotionally and physically fit, you have let go of your past and forgiven those who hurt you, you know your worth without a partner and you love yourself. You would like a partner as a companion but you do not NEED one. Confident people are like magnets to others who are the same. No co-dependence, no brokenness, no confusion, just peace. Imagine that! It is possible, I know this from personal experience.

Here is a great quote about this that I’ve mentioned before but worth re-mentioning:
Empowerment in a relationship is when two people who come together are able to stand strong in knowing who they are, where they come from, where they’re going, and what they bring to the table. These empowered people don’t need each other to feel complete and yet they want each other because the two create something magical, beautiful, and exciting—together.”

Where to start:

  • Find ways to fill your cup and practice self-care until the feeling of NEEDING a partner goes away.
  • Take stock of your previous dating experiences and note the times you gave away your power to someone you were dating or in a relationship. It could be that you were intimate when you were not ready, or perhaps you accepted less from them just to keep them in your life, or you tolerated disrespect or being treated poorly. It could be anything.

Affirmation & Gratitude:

Your affirmations and gratitude from your feel good journal will play a very important role when you are single and dating. Start each day off with an affirmation that you are / will be happy and fulfilled even without a partner, that you will not let anyone take your power, etc. Be grateful for each and every encounter and dating experience because each one taught you something, especially the bad ones.

“You can’t go backward and forward at the same time”

[Steve Harvey]

Your Takeaway

  1. I will always maintain that those who have a full cup and full control of their power always do better in dating. No amount of dating advice or matchmaking will ever be enough for someone who is not sure of themselves, truly sure of themselves.
  2. When you are empowered, not only will you be a more affirmed and grateful person, you will radiate stability which will attract the right people to you – no drama, no anxiety, no confusion. The vulnerable, by contrast, attract all the bad seeds who will do harm.
  3. Take care of your baggage, make sure to fill your own cup and practice self-care / self-love BEFORE you start looking for love.
  4. Live life forward while learning backwards will empower you because you will learn from your mistakes or missteps and will not repeat them. You will use them as stepping stones rather than quicksand on your journey towards love.
  5. When meeting someone new, know your worth and do not let them take your power by being insecure, not confident, desperate, needy or vulnerable. Project the best version of yourself, if you cannot then keep working on you until you are there. THEN date.

TRY THIS: Write a list of the “good, bad and ugly” of your relationship history, include friendships, and then write down what made some work and some crash and burn. Look for trends which will be your lessons learned. Go forth and do better.

POST IT NOTE: I will not let dating take my power

Click for recorded segment exclusively on DATING [5:17 min]

READERS: What are your thoughts on this? Please share in the comments!



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