To Be or Not To Be … the Other Woman

They say monogamy is a thing of the past and to expect it is rare and unrealistic.  What do I think about this?  I think whatever works for you and your partner.  Some people are fine with open relationships, others not.  I just think its more accepted now than it was before.  Actually, open sexuality has been in and out of fashion forever, now it’s definitely “in”.  I personally believe things in the open are much better than hidden.  Those who know me know I am a big promoter of saying what I’m thinking and doing what I think is best for me even if it’s not what others think is right.  True it gets me into trouble sometimes, but that’s ok … it’s all part of learning and living.  I try everything once.

To Be or Not To Be … the Other Woman

So the topic of the day is dating the married/attached.  Have you done it?  Have you been propositioned?  I have.  Actually, I realized once I was labeled as “divorced” I was open to a whole new world that was hidden to me before.  It’s like the infidelity flood gates opened.  Men who I never in a million years would have thought were the cheating types were propositioning me.  You could imagine my shock.  They wanted to take advantage of my vulnerability at the time.  They wanted to give me what I was missing … wait a minute, if you give it to me then isn’t your wife missing it?  Well needless to say I am NOT down with OPP (Other People’s “Property” or other P words LOL)! I just wouldn’t want to be the one left behind.

They approach so suave and act concerned.  They want to see how I’m doing because they heard my husband and I aren’t together anymore.  They tell me I look great and not to worry, I’m a beautiful, intelligent girl and I will find someone else, I’m still young.  Cue arm touch (see my blog post on flirting) … yup the flirting was so obvious … then giving me their card/number in case I needed to talk to someone or if I needed anything (a wink and a smile).  They even wanted my number, so they could “check on me from time to time”.  Um, since when were we friends?  Then there’s the ones that just outright asked me if I needed some “male companionship” and that they were always ready to help, no strings attached.  Ya, I’ll bet.  Do I look like the whore of Babylon? Seriously?

So it got me thinking, why do people cheat?  Both Men and Women do it.  I think, however, even though both cheat, it’s for different reasons.  I have the experience of knowing people who have strayed from their relationships, so I spoke to them about why they did/do it.  Men generally say it’s a physical thing … it’s about power … they see something they like and they want it.  Hence, they think with their penis.  Women, what did they say? Cheating for them was more emotional.  They weren’t getting the attention and appreciation they needed at home.  Essentially, their needs were being neglected so they had an opportunity and a guy filled the gap, ahem, well you know what I mean.  I can totally see how that is possible.  I felt the same way near the end of my marriage.  I didn’t stray, but I can totally understand why someone would do it.

I have always said, if your stomach is full and you are satisfied at home, you won’t want to eat outside, no matter how tasty the treat is (no pun intended!).  So really, ladies and gents, make your partner happy and satisfied and they won’t stray because you can’t take for granted that they won’t.  It’s so easy to now, especially with social networking sites.  Just because you have someone, doesn’t mean they will always be there.  Take care of yourselves, always look and smell good and never miss an opportunity to show them they are loved and wanted.  Make an effort! Always be open to their interests and what makes them happy.  Relationships are all about comprimise.

Perhaps cheaters will always cheat and players will always play, but give them a reason not to and you never know, you might inspire them to be completely and hopelessly devoted to you … but that’s another story!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. It makes me think about the one that proposed multiple one night stands… so my reaction was to tell him: What guarantees me that you are going to be able to satisfy all my needs if you can’t seem to content your spouse who is waiting for you at home?

    Never heard from that guy again! Lol!


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