Out of the Tree of Life … I Picked Me a ?

Player!  Bet you thought I was going to say “peach”!  Ya, I haven’t come across that tree yet! Call him a player, call him a smooth operator, call him Don Juan.  Well Mozart’s “Don Giovanni” is my favorite opera of all time … is that relevant … hmm maybe.  For those of you who are opera challenged, it is about a player who gets what’s coming to him in the end.  If you want a more detailed description, here is a good one.  I have to say one of my favorite scenes is when Don Giovanni’s assistant Leporello is listing all the women Don Giovanni has “conquered” to the women who loves him Donna Elvira (in Scene 5) … here it is translated into English … so worth sharing:

My dear lady, this is a list of the beauties my master has loved, a list which I have compiled.
Observe, read along with me.
In Italy, six hundred and forty; In Germany, two hundred and thirty-one; A hundred in France; in Turkey, ninety-one;
In Spain already one thousand and three.
Among these are peasant girls, maidservants, city girls, countesses, baronesses, marchionesses, princesses,
Women of every rank, every shape, every age.
With blondes it is his habit to praise their kindness;
In brunettes, their faithfulness;
In the very blond, their sweetness.
In winter he likes fat ones.  In summer he likes thin ones.
He calls the tall ones majestic. The little ones are always charming.
He seduces the old ones for the pleasure of adding to the list.
His greatest favourite is the young beginner.
It doesn’t matter if she’s rich, ugly or beautiful;
If she wears a petticoat, you know what he does.

Who’s Donna Elvira? Me.  Who’s Don Giovanni? well wouldn’t you all like to know! Who can guess who it is?  Which one that I have spoken of is it?  Well it’s Mr. R (see blog post Consistently Inconsistent).  It’s certainly not only him.  He just reminds me of Don Giovanni.  But in general I am very much attracted to the Don Giovanni types … you know … alpha male … arrogant, selfish, smart, successful and can charm the pants off you – literally!  They are well skilled in the art of seduction and make the best lovers you can ever find, ruining it for the average man.  They make you feel special and wanted and always tell you what you want to hear … then they leave you bewildered and sometimes ashamed.  Sometimes.  Most time, personally, spending time with a Don Giovanni is exhilarating and energizing.  It’s just the vitamin boost I need.

Is this a good or bad thing?  Well it’s good if you can remain emotionally detached and enjoy it for what it is, a passing encounter.  The problem is when it becomes a long-term attachment and feelings develop and when, like Donna Elvira, it drives you mad.  She can’t live her life if he’s not in it and can’t accept his abandonment.  She doesn’t care about his past, or his present for that matter … she just wants him.  It’s an addiction of sorts.  Am I quite the Donna Elvira? Well perhaps not to that extent.

So why do I like to pick the players?  I think it’s because of the thrill, because of the excitement that comes with them.  Perhaps it’s also the taboo.  I am convinced it’s because, subconsciously, I am afraid of committed relationships right now and they are the epitome of non-commitment!  I think I’m moving past that now, or at least ready to.  Who knows where it will take me, but I’m sure it will be a pleasurable ride … ahem … get your mind out of the gutter!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. I think another reason why us females are drawn to “Don Giovanni” types is that we deceive ourselves into believing that we can change them. They are a challenge and we want to be the ones to win the prize. Unfortunately they are experts at making each and every one of us feel like the winner but only for a while. We end up feeling like a loser and there’s no consolation prize.


      • Narcissists are great fun while you are the center of their world and they yours. The attention is exhilarating and intoxicating. When it flames out, as it inevitably does as a new delight captures his attention, he’s honestly confused as to why you would expect it any other way. It’s like having dessert for dinner: delicious but not really very healthy.


  2. […] is genuinely interested in dating. I have said before that I enjoy a good game with a good player link … but one who you know is a player and all the cards are on the table. It can be fun. But I am […]


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