You made the choice to sign up for online dating.  You created your account, and then it comes time to write your profile.  What do you say? How do you best describe yourself without saying too much?  It’s a difficult task.  I took some time to read through a large list of profiles and to determine what made a good profile and what didn’t.  I also asked around for what people typically look for and avoid.  Initially, as I have spoken of before, the picture speaks volumes.  Ensure you have a good photograph because that’s what attracts people to your profile to begin with.  If you need some tips, check out my post A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words.  So what works and what doesn’t?

Marketing Yourself – What Works:

Be Amusing: everyone likes to laugh … in my online profile I always speak about my sense of humour and how I like someone who can make me laugh.  I also want someone who I can tell is a fun person to be around.  You need to show that you are someone who doesn’t take themselves seriously.

Confident: there is a difference between assertive and arrogant.  Be assertive.  Demonstrate that you are independent and not hiding behind your mother’s skirt.

Adventurous: it is good to say how you like to experience life outside the box, how you like variety in life, doing and learning different things.

Accomplishments: speak about your academics, what field you work in, what you like about your job, what you are proud of (without being overly conceited).

Hobbies: what you enjoy doing in your free time, sports, travel, etc … this will help them determine if your interests match.

Positive Tone: Keep a very positive tone throughout your profile, no negative words.  Accentuate the positive things about you and your life.

Honesty: Always be honest in your profile.  If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.  You could meet this person eventually and they will find out the truth.  If someone doesn’t like you for you, then you don’t want them.

Marketing Yourself – What Doesn’t Work:

Soul Mate: OK, we know everyone wants to find their soul mate, but really, most people won’t answer a profile that uses that word because it gives the impression that your standards are too high.

Open Mind: Although some people will take this positively, most will take it to mean that you are open minded sexually.  Unless that’s the impression you want to give avoid the term.

Conceit: No one wants someone who talks about how great they are … if you’re that great and successful at getting a mate, then what are you doing online?  You shouldn’t have to brag.

Negativity: Don’t fill your profile with what you don’t want or dislike about relationships or mates.  You can weed people out later.  A negative profile will only push people away and give the impression that you aren’t a friendly person.  No one wants a negative mate.

Body Parts: Don’t tell people about your physical assets or request that someone have certain physical assets.  For example I just read a profile that was very well written and once I got to the end he said “one more thing, the woman must have a tight vagina, no exceptions”.  Um, ok.  What impression does that give?  It made me want to ask him how small his penis was … but I didn’t.

Poetry, Quotes, Jokes: You want to avoid filling your profile with these things.  Although it might seem witty at the time, it isn’t writing about you.  At most, a short quote is acceptable, as long as it really personifies who you and what message you are trying to get across.

Illness: Don’t speak about your haemorrhoids (you would be surprised how many do) or about that weird mole you have behind your ear that the doctors cannot figure out.  If there is something that is important to tell that could help someone weed you out if they can’t deal with it, then by all means say it … for example if you have a life threatening illness.  But no details please.

In general you want to keep it short and to the point.  Tell your story, but make it to the point.  Most people won’t read the whole thing if it is too long, so you will lose them.  Write some brief points about who you are and what you are looking for and leave the rest to your conversations.  You need to have something to talk about when you are getting to know each other.  A good thing to keep in mind is “what is important to me” … write down what these things are … who you are and what you want.  Once you have that, write a brief profile using some of the tips listed above and you’ll be on your way to meeting someone new in no time!  If you are interested send an email to me and I would be happy to look over your profile and pictures for some feedback.

Happy Dating!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

Original Published on Singles Warehouse