Tik Tok Tik Tok the Biological Clock

Lately I’ve been hearing the ticking of my biological clock louder and louder. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. I know, I’m only in my 30’s but still. I guess I just figured I’d be in a different place in my life right now. We’re conditioned to believe that by the time you’re 30, you should be married with children … white picket fence and all. But is that really realistic anymore? Not so much. Times have certainly changed. Women have changed. Most women are getting a good education and then a career before they even think marriage. Many just want to live their lives freely before being “tied down”. Some would say this is the wrong frame of mind. Not me. I think people should live however they choose to, marry who they choose when they choose to. No pressure. I felt that pressure, that’s why I got married to the wrong guy. I wanted so badly to fit in to the proverbial “box”.

You know which box I’m referring to. The one your families and communities typically carve out for you. You have to meet their expectations or else you’re a disappointment. This box is also the socially acceptable box. You’re expected to do certain things in your life or else something is wrong with you. How many of you single ladies get the “why are you still single” looks of pity from other people? Guess what? The “ooh you’re divorced AND single” look of pity is even WORSE!! I just shoot back with “why would I make the same mistake twice?” and laugh it off with them … but really I’m just being defensive. What I really want to say is that “I hate that I’m divorced and I hate that I’m single. Thanks for reminding me”. But I can’t. I have to be strong and besides, whose business is it anyway?

Don’t get me wrong. I am enjoying this new independent life. I am learning so much about myself. I am also learning how important it is to be TRUE to myself. I can’t stress that enough. I won’t settle for less, even if that means I will stay single a little while longer. I do get lonely, but I have remedies for that. I do hear my clock ticking … I really would love a child, but I will channel that energy and enjoy my niece and nephew and give them all my love and attention.

It will happen. It will come. I know it will. I just have to be patient and trust. One of my favorite books of all time is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and my favorite quote from this book is “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”. So I will have faith and be strong … the universe is listening and I will get who I really want – my soulmate – my other half. Now where’s that hammer there’s a clock I need to destroy …

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

3 comments

Great post, but one thing really sticks out to me: “We’re conditioned to believe that by the time you’re 30, you should be married with children … ” That just completely blows my mind! But the more I’m online and read things written by younger women the more I see it. I was never conditioned for that. In fact, I was conditioned to believe that the longer you stayed unmarried or child-free the more money you’d have and the happier you’d be when you decided to do it. It’s seems so retro to seek marriage and babies before 30, maybe it’s cultural? Maybe it’s Hollywood and reality TV — women want to be the hot young mom and are conditioned to think that if over 30 they are no longer desirable? I don’t know. Kids are a hell of a lot of work, not to mention the money drain. (I love my kids but people should know these things going in). And marriage limits your mobility. You can’t take a great job in another city if your spouse if rooted elsewhere. You have to split holidays, and sometimes even religions. And let’s face it, since society does put so much value on younger, care-free women why fret because you are available to jet set with the handsome stranger who wants to take you to Europe when you are 28, or be a model or athlete or play in a band or work in TV or movies behind the scenes in writing or production or simply lie on the beach in your bikini without interruption or do any of those jobs where “they” say they are looking for “young, fresh” — my point is there are so many things that you either can’t do or it is exceedingly difficult to do when you are married with kids and things that you won’t be permitted to do when you are over 30. If you have a husband and kids before 30, that’s fine, but ladies, if you don’t for the love of all that is good enjoy the ride.

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You’re a gal who makes her own path. No one controls your box! Wait, that didn’t come out right…

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I’ve noticed a lot of women in their late 30s are approaching dating like there’s a time limit. It’s kind of like what this guy went through. You’re right in that dating is and can be fun. Don’t rush things ladies, and enjoy the ride.

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Just Me With . . . says:

November 24, 2012 at 5:24 PM

Great post, but one thing really sticks out to me: “We’re conditioned to believe that by the time you’re 30, you should be married with children … ” That just completely blows my mind! But the more I’m online and read things written by younger women the more I see it. I was never conditioned for that. In fact, I was conditioned to believe that the longer you stayed unmarried or child-free the more money you’d have and the happier you’d be when you decided to do it. It’s seems so retro to seek marriage and babies before 30, maybe it’s cultural? Maybe it’s Hollywood and reality TV — women want to be the hot young mom and are conditioned to think that if over 30 they are no longer desirable? I don’t know. Kids are a hell of a lot of work, not to mention the money drain. (I love my kids but people should know these things going in). And marriage limits your mobility. You can’t take a great job in another city if your spouse if rooted elsewhere. You have to split holidays, and sometimes even religions. And let’s face it, since society does put so much value on younger, care-free women why fret because you are available to jet set with the handsome stranger who wants to take you to Europe when you are 28, or be a model or athlete or play in a band or work in TV or movies behind the scenes in writing or production or simply lie on the beach in your bikini without interruption or do any of those jobs where “they” say they are looking for “young, fresh” — my point is there are so many things that you either can’t do or it is exceedingly difficult to do when you are married with kids and things that you won’t be permitted to do when you are over 30. If you have a husband and kids before 30, that’s fine, but ladies, if you don’t for the love of all that is good enjoy the ride.

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The Hook says:

November 25, 2012 at 8:23 AM

You’re a gal who makes her own path. No one controls your box! Wait, that didn’t come out right…

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firemystdl says:

December 6, 2014 at 4:25 AM

I’ve noticed a lot of women in their late 30s are approaching dating like there’s a time limit. It’s kind of like what this guy went through. You’re right in that dating is and can be fun. Don’t rush things ladies, and enjoy the ride.

LikeLike