First of all, what is a “soul mate” anyway? That term gets thrown around a lot. Everyone is looking for their “soul mate”. Wikipedia defines “soul mate” as “the person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soul mate … the one and only other half of one’s soul.”
Wow! Deep stuff. Do I believe it exists or is it just a romantic notion someone made up? I personally believe soul mates do exist. But I don’t believe that they are only those who we are romantically involved with. I think some people who walk on our life’s journey are also our soul mates. Not everyone, but some. You know who they are. You have such a deep connection with them it’s uncanny. It might be your sibling or a best friend. Someone you’re naturally drawn to. For some, they are lucky enough to find this in a romantic partner. But can it happen more than once? I believe so.
The romantic notion of one soul mate we have in our lives is a dangerous one. It causes us to doubt ourselves and the relationships we have. Is there just one person out there for us? Well the older we get and the more relationships we have, we know the answer is no. We definitely can have more than one. I have no doubt. Each person comes into our lives at a certain time for a certain reason. Some for a short period and some for longer periods … time does not equate validity.
What makes a person your soul mate? To me it’s the connection you have with them. It’s like you’ve always known them. Like you’ve been through lifetimes together. It’s not a romantic love sort of thing. It’s a connection like you’ve never felt before. You feel it at the core of your body. Being with them erases all worry and trouble. It’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. Being without them is painful. They are like a drug. Now is it this intense with all soul mates? Not sure. But this is my notion of my romantic soul mate. My friend soul mates have an equally strong connection with me but not as intense, but maybe that’s because it’s different.
I am lucky to know how this feels, but also unlucky that sometimes I have to feel the pain rather than the bliss. But that’s life isn’t it? I will leave with something I read once … I think it’s relevant … the author is unknown but the message is valuable: “soul mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you”. I hope for all of us that our lives are filled with these people who are perfect for us, whoever they may be and that we all find our soul mate.
Stirring the Dating Sauce,
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Such an interesting post. I like that you defined soulmates because you’re right, the word gets tossed around a lot. Like you, I believe we have more than one soulmate and that they come in different capacities. As for romantic soulmates, I believe we have to belive we have more than one. Otherwise, some of us might lose hope. 😉
Thanks so much for your comment! You are right why limit ourselves to one soulmate when so many wonderful people come into our lives!
I just think of everyone as being on a spectrum. There are people out there who would be a terrible partner for you, and others who’d be amazing. It’s just a question of finding the most amazing one you can in the time available!
I like that analogy Andy
With well over 6 billion people in the world, there will be a wide range of connections you can make. That’s why I’ve never believed in the “one true soulmate” thing. There are lots of folks you’ll meet in your lifetime that, whether you know it or not, are the types of people you would be able to have that deep connection with. That’s why it’s such a good thing to always be going to new places and meeting new people: you never know when you’ll come across that amazing person that connects with you on a deep emotional level.
You’re very right … There ARE so many people we could connect with so why hold out for just one?
I’ve always believed we’re capable of making a strong connection with more than one soul. That having been said, I’ve found my match in my wife, so I rally don’t know much about the dating scene these days…
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