Too much emphasis is placed on the word “love” I think. Everyone wants to be “in love” … they want to find the “love of their life” … they want to live a “love story”. Not me … is there something wrong with me? No, I don’t think so. I’m just a realist. I choose not to cloud my judgement with the love business. I prefer to slowly fall in love with someone. Develop a long and lasting bond of friendship, respect and trust and then love just comes naturally. I’ve been in the “love at first sight” situation, I’ve been in the saying “I love you” too early situation and I’ve been in the “I don’t love you anymore” situation. None of it was real to begin with and that’s why it’s not there anymore.
You look around and what do you see? If you are longing for love, you see people in love all around you seeming to mock you with their bliss. If you are anti-love then these people make you want to vomit. If you a realist like me, you look at them and wonder what’s behind that show? No, I’m certainly not being cynical, but I’m just saying we see what we see but not what’s really there. Think about it, how many blissful couple do you know that ended up hating each other? How many couples who seemed like they had a fairy tale romance ended to be like a Brothers Grimm tale of woe? It makes me wonder, had these couples been realists from the beginning, would they still be together?
What about those words “I love you”? How much weight should be placed on them? Well I think they shouldn’t be said unless they are really meant. What does it mean to love someone? It means putting them first in your life. It means sacrificing for them. It means loving the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s not just a feeling you feel in your heart. You can care deeply for someone but not truly love them. But when should you say the words “I love you”? In my opinion when you feel it and are ready to accept the responsibility that comes with those words. They aren’t just words to say.
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I speak these words from experience. I was one of those couples. My ex-husband and I were the personification of love … so in love that no one ever suspected we were miserable. Everyone was surprised when we ended it. We showed them what we wanted them to see, not what the reality was. We fell in love too fast and as a result were blind to the reality of who the other person was. It ended with a divorce when we finally opened our eyes. So when you see that lovey dovey couple on the street and wish you were them, remember, what lies beneath the shiny surface might be something quite ugly.
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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