Who doesn’t like a partner who’s a little overprotective?  It makes you feel good that your man/woman doesn’t want anyone else to have you too.  But there is a fine line to jealousy, a little bit protective is not a big deal, but the line is crossed when you are alienated from your friends and family.  Have you ever been in a situation like that? Or even in a situation where you don’t dare leave the house because you know there will be problems? How about the opposite, you wish your partner was more jealous when others talk to you?  Is either extreme a good thing?  I say perhaps heading for the middle ground is best.

So what is jealousy anyway and where does it come from?  Essentially being jealous means feeling or showing suspicion of someone’s unfaithfulness in a relationship.  There is a lack of trust that usually stems from being burnt before and insecurities about yourself.  You don’t want anyone else to infringe on your territory.  If you felt confident about yourself then you would KNOW that you have nothing to worry about.  You will feel trust because you know who you are and what you have to offer your partner.

How do you overcome jealousy? First step is realizing it’s your issue not theirs.  You need to determine what kind of baggage you’re carrying that is making you not trust your partner.  Own the feeling and experience it so you can figure out why it is you’re feeling that way.  Next you need to be realistic.  Is this person a real threat to your relationship?  If you are jealous of your partner’s ex-partners who are long out of their life, is there anything to worry about? Really?  How about people who show interest in your partner? Is your partner showing interest in them or just being friendly?  You need to assess each situation.

How about if you’re the partner of a jealous person?  You need to determine the kind of jealousy it is.  There is jealousy that’s neurotic and then there’s a sweet kind of jealousy. If it’s a sweet jealousy, you just can thank your partner and ensure they know that you are theirs and no one else’s.  If they are neurotic and obsessive you need to be careful.  If their jealousy causes problems and conflict in the relationship, then you need to assess if this relationship is the right one for you.  They have some issues they need to deal with before getting into a relationship with anyone.  Most dangerous situations with couples always start with unhealthy levels of jealousy.  Know how to recognize it from the beginning.  You’re not a hero and you can’t “help” them overcome their problems.  They need to do that on their own!  Be safe.

So what about the partner who’s not jealous at all and seems passive about your interactions with others?  Well, sorry to say but they’re just not that into you.  There has to be some level of caring what you’re doing and who you’re seeing and talking to.  It’s normal.  If that isn’t there at all, then you need to reassess the relationship on its merits.

So is Jealousy a good or bad thing?  I say both.  I think every relationship has to have a healthy level of jealousy that doesn’t include conflict or any negativity.  It’s normal.  You need to decide what’s acceptable or not and if it reaches a level where you feel threatened in any way, you need to get out.  Same goes if you get absolutely nothing from your partner who doesn’t care if you even flirt with others.  Not worth your time.  In the end, do what makes you happy and comfortable but remember be true to you and don’t let anyone make you change who you are.  You are who you are and you are there because of where you’ve been.  Plain. Simple.

Happy Dating!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

Originally Published on Singles Warehouse