Ask Single Dating Diva: Meeting a Mate

I often get questions from my followers and friends about their own single and dating lives.  Although I have never said that I have all the answers, but, I have seen a lot and do have many lessons learned.  With experience comes wisdom, so that is the advice I give.  I wanted to share some of these questions and answers with you. Of course names are never shared, only questions and answers.

Dear Single Dating Diva,  

Ask Single Dating DivaI’ve tried everything to meet women.  I have tried online dating, speed dating, going to events, going to bars and just randomly approaching women on the street.  Despite all my efforts I’m still single.  I can’t seem to meet the right woman.  What do I do? I don’t want to be single anymore!

Hate Not Having a Mate

Meeting a Mate

Dear Hate Not Having a Mate,

Ask-Single-Dating-DivaThank you for your question.  I definitely feel your pain.  It’s not easy being single.  I do commend you, however, for putting yourself out there and trying.  You will get nowhere unless you actually try.  You need to see each person you meet as a stepping stone towards the right one.  What’s important is that you remain positive.  In the meantime, here are some tips to help you out:

  • When meeting someone new keep it casual and don’t set high expectations, this will allow you to be less nervous and you will project a calm demeanor rather than appearing desperate.
  • When you approach a woman in public be very polite, smile and never be pushy.  Mention why she caught your eye and make sure you respect her personal space.  Don’t be creepy about it and remember that no means no.
  • Sit down and create a game plan.  Think about what qualities you truly value in a potential mate, what are your deal breakers and what things are “nice to have” but not essential.  This will help you narrow down your choices.
  • Join clubs, meetups or take classes in something you are interested in.  This will allow you to meet others with similar interests, especially women.  You are also more comfortable when you are “in your element”.
  • Have a friend or a professional review your online dating profile and picture to make sure it is portraying who you really are and want people to see.  Your picture and profile is what makes women choose to speak with you or not and helps weed out those you don’t want.
  • You might want to check out my post on making good first impressions for some more tips to help you put your best foot forward … you can find it here: First Impressions: 5 Easy Ways To Make Their Heart Skip Skip A Beat

Hope these tips help, please let me know if you have any other questions 🙂  Remember, don’t give up, keep trying and be true to you!

Dear Readers: What other tips would YOU offer? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be sure to share them!!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. Great Post, so i gonna share my thoughts on this one.

    1. At first i have to say that people should let go all the thinking of “Man, i have to approach her” or “Uhm, if i dont approach her iam gonna die”.

    Stop that and come from a place of abundance. YES, i know its hard at the beginning, i’ve been in the same situation. But feeling a “need to” approach her stems from a “lack of” mentality which is needy and desperate.

    Iam not talking about you can’t, but, for me as a natural, iam approaching like 5% of women i really like. If i get to know a girl it doesn’t feel like an approach at all. Second reason is i don’t see a need to approach her, for the reason that i know i have enough girls in my life yet. It can be also called some kind of “hard to get”.

    2. Get yourself a good list of affirmations for self-esteem, attracting women and other issues you have. Become gratefull for things you have and start visualizing your perfect dating life and really “feel it”. I can’t say how much impact visualizations had on my dating life. They also stop yourself from feeling desperate.

    3. Develop a strong sexual presence and confidence. Groom yourself well and get a clean, stylish haircut. Put on some nice cloths to make a good first impression and get a few accesoirs that fit your personal unique style.

    4. Get a list of traits that you like at a girl / girlfriend. Question yourself if you have those traits you have written down. For example if you want a confident girl – Are you confident in the first place? If not, work on that. You can’t expect to find a confident girl if you aren’t confident at all. Create a list of those Traits.

    5. As silly as it sounds, stop Online-Dating if you didn’t internalize the right Belief system or the desired success with women. Online Dating was something that had always screwed up my success for the reason that my appearance, confidence and sexual presence can’t be seen on a single picture. I never had that much success at online dating compared to reality and i didn’t really wanted to put so much effort into making a very good picture.

    Second Reason for that is, that many women at online-dating platforms (iam speaking of my own experience here in Germany, maybe it’s some kind of different at your place), just want to chat around. It’s good to learn how to build up a friendship, but not good to make experience in dating women.

    If Online-Dating works for you, fine. Keep it up. It’s just my personal experience and it really didn’t work out for me.

    6. Keep things easy!

    Hope that helps,



  2. Great advice Diva, hope it helps your man there. I’d add to RELAX! Happiness is attractive, look after you for a bit and make changes if needed to get you where you really want to be and enjoying your life. Looking for someone to make you happy isn’t fair to them and you’ll come across as needy. Always be open to opportunities but stop looking for now, do some fun stuff and get yourself happy first. Nothing more appealing than a contented soul.


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