Why You Don’t Need To Play Hard To Get

Haven’t we always been advised that you need to play hard to get in order to get and keep someone’s interest?  We’ve been taught that being too eager and actually showing you’re interested is a bad idea and that it will scare people off.  So is it actually true? Does playing hard to get actually work?  Is it really all about playing hard to get? Is that the secret to dating successfully?  Well I think it’s all a bunch of BS!  Why? Well, I’ll tell you why you don’t need to play hard to get in order to date successfully.

Why You Don’t Need To Play Hard To Get

So you’ve met someone new and you really really like them.  They seem to like you too.  Everyone tells you that you should let them sweat before letting them know you really really like them.  You are told to let them work for it.  They tell you that this person will appreciate you more if they have to chase you.  You are told that people love the chase, that they love the challenge.  That if you make it too easy they will lose interest, not gain it.  So, you do that, you play hard to get and make them chase you and they chase.  Finally, one day, you decide to let them catch you and then, they lose interest and disappear.  WTF? You thought they wanted you, what happened?

Well, this actually has happened to me more than once.  For example, one guy chased me for several years. I kept rejecting him over and over again.  Finally, I decided I would go out with him.  So we went out, we had a great date, one of my best actually.  The evening ended with a kiss and a promise to see each other again.  We spoke sparingly over the next week and then he stopped chasing.  He lost interest.  Why? Because he loved the chase, once he caught his prey he lost interest.  Some people are like that, it’s just how they are.  You can’t change them.  So what do you do?  How do you avoid people like that?

Playing It Real

play hard to get

I’ve tried both playing hard to get and playing it eager.  Which one worked better? Neither! You don’t need to play hard to get nor should you play easy to get or eager, so what then? Be yourself.  Yes, be yourself.  Do you like someone? Then act like it.  Don’t throw yourself at them but don’t give them a hard time.  You need to remain consistent with them.  What do I mean? Well, you want to meet the right person, correct? Then, you want them to know who you are from the beginning.  They need to like and want you for who you really are.  You don’t need to act a certain way to keep them interested.  Playing games isn’t necessary, actually, playing games will only cause you grief and give off the WRONG impression.  Consistency is key.  You want to show that you’re a stable person and not wishy washy.

What you should do is not play hard to get but be hard to forget.  Be someone who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to go for it.  Be true to you and show others your true self.  Should you make it too easy for a potential partner? No! Don’t jump their bones and play the eager beaver. You want to act normal.  Take it slow and get to know each other.  No need to be anyone but yourself.  BE TRUE TO YOU!!  If someone wants to be with you then they will be with you regardless if you are playing hard to get or if you are demonstrating your interest by lavishing your affection on them.  Plain. Simple.

Have you had a “playing hard to get” experience? What are your thoughts? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. Not to mention the other person might simply take it as not interested and move on. Don’t assume the other person will follow or even be aware of the ‘script’.


  2. I always thought it was silly to play hard to get. If someone likes me, I would want them to tell and show me that he does. And vice versa, if I like him. I won’t smother him, but I won’t ignore him hoping he’ll get the message and try harder for my attention.


  3. this girl who i liked at summer camp name celeste. ok see i liked her and she liked me but everytime i tried to talk to her or ask her out she would reject me but in the end she still stares at me and i dont get it. 😦


  4. I find it refreshing when someone can just be themselves. I will chase, but not forever. Most men aren’t naive enough to think that women aren’t going to play a bit and expect a bit of a chase. It is a 2 way street however and a real man likes to feel attractive and wanted to.

    I scrap the chase after a few serious attempts to put my best foot forward. Bottom line. I just don’t have the patience or desire to be caught up in some childish game, and I don’t believe playing hard to get is a recipe for a lasting relationship.

    Be yourself. Show you are interested. Have the courage to put your TRUE feelings out there, and if they are reciprocated, then you know it is worth taking things to the next level. When a man who is not desperate, but interested, gets discouraged… he loses interest quick.

    Games… Ain’t nobody got time for that!!!


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