It’s THAT time of year again … now before you say “bah humbug” let’s take a moment to … oh who am I kidding! I’m the queen of bah humbug.  I really dislike this time of year … I have hated it ever since I could remember, even as a child.  I was never “enchanted” by all the Christmas cheer … I just tolerated it because it seemed to make everyone else happy.  Now, I tolerate it for the sake of my young niece and nephew and use it as an excuse to spoil them rotten (OK I don’t really need an excuse LOL).

I don’t think I’m alone in these sentiments, especially with other singles.  It’s a really really difficult time for many singles and let’s face it it’s even more difficult for those in unhappy relationships.  I think there’s so much pressure put on us to be happy and cheerful during this time of year that we are pushed further away from it.  Since we can’t run away from it, how do we cope with being single dating and the holiday season?

Single Dating and the Holiday Season – It’s Not So Bad

You know it’s really not that bad … it’s all about perspective.  Trust me, I totally get it … it’s hard being alone during the holiday season … but are you REALLY alone? Most likely you’re not.  You are surrounded by family and friends and your community.  You’re not alone.  I seriously don’t have time to think about being alone because my schedule is so full with things to do and people to see.  Is it hard to go to a party and be the only person there who’s single? Damn right it is, but I’ll let you in on a little secret … many of those “couples” wish they were you!

Seriously, I use that opportunity to be my charming fabulous self, tell jokes and stories about my own life and people love it.  They envy my freedom to go and come as I please without a second thought. True I have to listen to them speak about their kids and all the stuff associated with it, but shh don’t tell anyone, I usually zone them out.  I only partake in “adult” discussions … they can talk about their kids with other parents.  The only kids I am really interested in are my niece and nephew to be honest. Maybe it will change if I have a child, but for now … not interested.

Single Dating and the Holiday Season – Some Coping Tips

As I mentioned, it really is about perspective, but here are some other ways you can cope with the holiday season.

• spoil yourself with something special like a spa treatment, a new outfit, a makeover, a fancy bottle of scotch or anything else that will make you happy
• stay social and go to as many functions as you can, especially the ones that you know will have friendly and entertaining people
• go to an event or a show with your friends
• surround yourself with happy things and people, steer clear of the negative and critical people (if your family is like this  and you can’t avoid them then learn to tune them out don’t let it get to you)
• take advantage of the spirit of giving and doing something nice for someone disadvantaged, this could be anything from buying gifts for poor children to volunteering
• have an attitude of gratitude and don’t focus on what you don’t have but be thankful for what you do have (remember there is always someone who would be the happiest person on earth just to trade places with you and have what you have)
• learn to focus on the positive of every situation and remove yourself from negative situations
• BREATH … I find sometimes I just need to step back and breath … one technique I find so helpful is this: breath in for a count of five, hold it for a count of five and breath out for a count of five … do this five times … I assure you doing this will ground you and get you back on track, it’s helped me countless times (especially since I’m guilty of being a reactive person)

These are just some things that I’ve found helpful, I know it’s hard, trust me I know how you’re feeling but you can’t let it get the better of you … it will all be over soon … I promise!  What is my contribution to the holidays? I put up a wreath on my door and my colleague decorated my office with leopard print ornaments LOL! I also made a gingerbread house with my niece and nephew that looks like a disaster hit it, so now we call it the “disaster house” LOL  they think it’s hilarious (OK so I’m not that creative LOL). The rest of my energy will go towards spending quality time with my family and friends, the ones that I love the most and that I know love me, as well as helping out those that need me.  Take it from me … focus on what’s really important and the whole single thing will just be a passing thought!

How do you cope with being single during the holiday season? I would love to hear your tips in the comments! 

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

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