It’s THAT time of year again! In the spirit of the season, people everywhere are scurrying about buying gifts and spending money. What happens when you are just starting to date someone new … do you have to buy THEM a gift too? But, you don’t really know them and just starting out with them. Readers have asked “New Relationship Gift Giving – Yes or No?”. Here’s my answer.
Dear Single Dating Diva,
I just started dating someone and we’re still getting to know each other. We’ve also just decided not to see any other people. Now that the holidays are coming up, should I get them a gift? Not really sure if it’s necessary and if I get them a gift what do I get them?
Dear Generous Giver,
Thank you for your question. You’re right, it is an awkward time of year if you’re starting a new relationship. You aren’t really sure what’s appropriate and what their expectations are. So what DO you do? Well, it’s simple really.
New Relationship Gift Giving – Yes or No?
What’s my answer? My answer is Yes AND NO. Confused? Don’t be. It is THAT time of year after all! It’s a nice gesture to give them something, especially if you’re going to spend time together around Christmas. However, it isn’t necessary to go all out or spend a lot of money. It really isn’t. This is a good time to put some thought into this person you’re seeing. What are their likes and dislikes? What are their pastimes and interests? What are their favorite foods or drinks? See where I’m going with this? What I’m saying is be thoughtful.
What are some gifts appropriate for new relationships? Some things that come to mind (and that I always enjoy) are specialty foods or drinks that are different or that are favorites, chocolates, wine or beer, tickets to a show or event, something homemade, cook them dinner, if they like a certain coffee place buy them a gift card, buy them a book you know they’ll like, get them a DVD of their all time favorite movie … you get the idea.
Don’t splurge, it’s really not necessary. Thoughtful gifts don’t have to cost a lot of money but they are worth so much. Why? Well, because they get you in the other person’s good books. Why? Because you were listening and were observant. This is why I say yes to new relationship gift giving … it could really push your new relationship to great places. But, don’t expect anything in return, give for the sake of making them happy and putting a smile on their face. You’ll be glad you did!
Hope this helps!
Readers what do you think about new relationship gift giving? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Good advice, Suzie. A thoughtful gift is a lot better than a splurge event. But. after reading her declaration – “I just started dating someone and we’re still getting to know each other. We’ve also just decided not to see any other people” My question is how long has she known this man? I’m not her comment should be a deciding factor to empty her bank account, especially when she “really does not know him that well” So, a nice Christmas card and a home cooked dinner should suffice.
I started dating my wife two months before her birthday. I got her just a simple care basket. nothing romantic. Nothing too personal. Sure, she might have liked it to be more personal but she married me anyway. If in doubt, go smaller I say. They shouldn’t love you for the size of your gift. This way it also helps sift out the superficial ones.
Sounds like a good plan….a “simple care basket” I have done that before!
Yeah, I think that you have to keep it simple. You can do a nice gift baskets or buy something that “smells nice.” I wouldn’t go all out in a short period of time. I think you have to be sensible and just wait until maybe the next holiday/birthday to take it up a notch.
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