It’s been a crazy few weeks. I’ve not only been super busy with work, there’s my blog, my business and the podcast. Wow, crazy. But, I love every minute of it. You might be wondering how I find time for dating but I do. Actually, I love meeting new people and I’ve gone on a lot of first dates lately. Yes, lots of first dates that didn’t go anywhere else for whatever reason, mostly because we didn’t have a connection and that’s perfectly OK. Others I would have loved to see again but it wasn’t in the cards. That’s perfectly OK too, just because you felt a connection doesn’t mean they did.
People put too much pressure on a first date when really it’s just that first contact to see if you want to proceed to the next level, a “pre-date” if you will. That’s why coffee or a drink or a nice walk somewhere is the best option. Anyway, we’re here to talk about First Date Tips, in particular Dating Red Flags. So here are some of the characters I’ve been on a first date with in recent history … recognize any? Most apply to both men and women. Would you add to the list?
First Date Tips: Dating Red Flags
Liar / Exaggerator
This is the person that lied in their dating profile. Their picture doesn’t look like them or they exaggerated their qualities. I had one guy show up twice as heavy as he looked in his picture but apparently it was OK, I wasn’t to worry because he was going to have gastric bypass surgery. Uh-huh. I also had another guy who looked nothing like his picture, when he showed up I was surprised and then asked him why he didn’t put up his own picture and he said that it was his cousin’s picture because he didn’t want people to know he was online. That was my cue to leave.
Why it’s a dating red flag: Obviously it’s a red flag because they lied upfront and will most certainly lie again. No doubt about it. Misrepresenting yourself online is a big offense in the dating world. What do these people think? That no one will ever find out? Geez.
So this person is a little too touchy feely. Light touching of arms, hands back is OK. Going for the boob is NOT OK! Any unsolicited touching shouldn’t be on the table on a first date unless that’s something you both want to pursue.
Why it’s a dating red flag: Well, more often than not, this person isn’t interested in something serious with you. If that’s all you want too then go for it, but if you really want a relationship then keep it in your pants.
Already Planned Wedding
This person already has their life planned out and are interviewing candidates for happily ever after. If you encounter this RUN! You know why? Because they won’t see you past your spouse potential.
Why it’s a dating red flag: They usually aren’t authentic and will act how they feel they need to act to get what they want. It will all be about getting married and rarely about the actual relationship and how you are as a couple. You need someone who is looking for a companion not a spouse.
That happens to me sometimes, they just stare at you and it’s unsettling. Shifty eyes are also creepy. I had one guy bulge his eyes at me while staring and telling me I’m beautiful. Trust me I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
Why it’s a dating red flag: Eyes and eye contact will tell you a lot about someone, do they look at you while you’re talking or at everything else going on? Do they stare at the floor when they talk? Do they stare at you with a blank look in their eyes? There is normal looking and abnormal. If it makes you uncomfortable then this person’s not for you.
The person who tells you their life story in one sitting is problematic. Especially when this person is complaining about their job and their life and their ex and everything else wrong with the world. The overshare is never appropriate for a first date.
Why it’s a dating red flag: Don’t they have something more interesting to talk about? Not only do you leave nothing to the imagination or to talk about next time, you also show that you’ve got unresolved issues. When someone more than mentions an ex in passing then I know there is some baggage there. I had a date recently that when I left I realized we hadn’t even really talked about our personal lives, we had such a great discussion about other stuff that it didn’t matter. Now THAT is a good date.
Someone who is cheap on the first date will always be cheap. If a guy doesn’t offer to buy you coffee or whatever you had then keep moving. That’s why I say coffee or a drink is always the best option for a first date, girls shouldn’t be greedy either and order the most expensive thing on the menu! Guys, even if a girl offers to pay or split the bill on the first date DON’T ACCEPT!!
Why it’s a dating red flag: First dates are when people are trying to make their best impression in order to get another date, if someone shows they are cheap on the first date then it’s not going to change. Same goes for greedy people, if someone comes off as money hungry the first date then keep walking.
Well, when your date spends the whole time speaking about themselves and THEIR accomplishments and THEIR life and how great THEY are, just keep walking and don’t look back.
Why it’s a dating red flag: You obviously don’t want to be with someone more interested in themselves than you. Conversation should be balanced and interactive.
Tell me about your first date red flags! I would love to hear about them in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva