We’ve all been on disaster dates that we think will never end. Were you a bumbling fool? Did you overshare? Did you drop your food and/or your drink on yourself or (gasp) on your date? Did you pass gas? Did you get overexcited about a topic and insult your date? Did you go dancing and step all over their feet? Did you trip and fall? Did you go in for a kiss and miss ending up slobbering all over their nose? These things (and more) have happened to the best of us. Now, what if you really liked them, is bouncing back from a bad date possible? The question really lies in first impressions – do they really matter THAT much? One of my readers had just that problem and really wanted to try for a second chance.
Dear Single Dating Diva,
I recently went on a date with my dream girl. She’s gorgeous and intelligent and I couldn’t believe she actually went out with me! Needless to say, come the first date I was extremely nervous and really messed it up. Although I’m a great conversationalist, I was at a loss for words. I kept fidgeting and I was sweating. If that wasn’t bad enough at the end of the date when I went for a hug we ended up crashing heads. In retrospect, it’s kind of funny, but, I want to be given another chance. How do I do that? Is bouncing back from a bad date possible?
Hoping for a Comeback
Dear Hoping for a Comeback,
Thank you for your question. I totally understand how embarrassed you must feel. We all goof up sometimes. We’re trying to make a good impression and end up looking the fool. It’s usually because we really like the person. All the things you mentioned are pretty rough, I can only imagine how you felt after! But you know what? You’re still standing and you’ve still got hope. That’s a great start! The question you had was if bouncing back from a bad date is possible, well, yes and no. I’ll explain.
Bouncing Back From a Bad Date
We all make embarrassing mistakes, whether it be on a date or anywhere else. Today I was at a meeting with a big group of people and I went to sit down and missed the chair. Needless to say I was so embarrassed. But, you know what I did? I sat there and laughed with everyone and made a joke about it. I truly believe in making the best out of every bad situation. One of my favorite Paulo Coelho quotes (from my favorite book The Alchemist) is “the secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times“. You need to keep bouncing back from all challenging situations, that also includes bouncing back from a bad date. You have to get up, dust yourself off and move forward. Does that mean that you can redeem yourself with your date? Well, not necessarily, but you certainly can try.
Here’s what to do:
- send her a message thanking her for the date
- mention that you would like to see her again
- poke fun at the disasters you encountered
- hope for the best, but fully expect that she won’t answer or she’ll decline the offer
It could sound something like this:
Hello [girl], I hope all is well. I just wanted to thank you for a great time the other night. I was hoping to see you again (I promise to bring helmets this time). Take Care, [you].
You just need to make it your own, you can even make reference to something you talked about. It’s really up to you. Put it out there and see what happens. If she doesn’t “bite” then just move on and take it as a “lesson learned”. Perhaps the next time you go out with a girl you really like try not to put too much pressure on it. Perhaps do an activity, this way you’re forced to focus on something other than freaking out about the person sitting in front of you.
Thank you again for your question and I hope this helps!
Readers: What do you think? Do you think bouncing back from a bad date is possible? What advice would you give? I would love to hear about it in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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