Creating Dating Opportunities

Creating dating opportunities is all about thinking outside the online dating box and finding love the old-fashioned way. It’s about finding love in everyday situations. Often times we look for the easy way out and want to get the most benefit with the least effort possible. Like with everything in life, you get what you put in, dating is no different. No fairy godmothers here to wave their magic wands! It’s all up to you!

Looking for Dating Novelty

I’ve learned over the years that people tend to like things that come easy. Creating dating opportunities isn’t even on the table. That’s too much work. People don’t want to work for it. They want to meet someone and BAM they want instant chemistry. If they don’t like someone on the first date or they don’t feel fireworks, then they don’t bother putting the effort in. A conversation with one of my friends today made me realize that it’s the novelty that they are looking for. They want their senses stimulated over and over again. In our podcast on the Science of Love with Dawn Maslar, she speaks about that very thing. Dawn mentioned a study where a male mouse was exposed to several females and once he had had his way with them, he got tired and uninterested. Once they put a new female mouse in, lo and behold, he suddenly had energy again (go figure!). But isn’t that what dating is all about? Really? Haven’t we all experienced that very thing? We’ve all been the “old mouse” and the “new mouse” haven’t we? Online dating gives the impression that you’re a rock star when all those people like your profile or send you messages but in reality it means nothing. But it’s that ego boost that makes online dating so appealing for many.

online-datingBut back to our mice, I think that experiment is not only comparable to dating but especially online dating, particularly ones that don’t take too much effort like Tinder (yuk!). OK you all know how I feel about Tinder … I mean really, how serious can someone really be about finding a partner if they can’t even bother to create a real dating profile? Tinder is full of very accomplished men, as I experienced recently, and actually someone wrote an article about it recently, that it was busy men on there looking for some short term companionship. Apparently, they are too busy for online dating so this is the next best thing. Well, if they can’t bother to put effort in looking for someone, do you really think they can bother to put effort in an actual relationship? Ya, no. I did date a couple people off there, they were very accomplished men, but had nothing to offer but a ride in a nice car and a fun evening out. If that’s what you’re looking for, nothing more, then you’re in luck, Tinder is for you, but if you’re looking for something more substantial then stay away. Actually, online dating isn’t where you should invest most of you’re time and energy. Online dating has become more about quantity and less about quality. Yes, I said it. So what’s the solution? Well, creating dating opportunities is where it’s at.

Creating Dating Opportunities 

So online dating hasn’t been working for you? Meeting a bunch of people who just want to chat and not actually meet? How about going out on fantastic first dates with a promise of a second date and then nothing? How about meeting someone who totally lied on their online dating profile on everything from their picture to what they do? We’ve all been there (more often than we’d like to admit!), but I have a novel idea … let’s take dating OFFLINE by creating dating opportunities for ourselves! Now THAT is an idea. Oh I know it takes some effort on your part, but seriously, shouldn’t you INVEST quality time in finding the right partner? We invest time in our work, in our education, even in our leisure activities but how often do we really invest time in finding that special someone who will be a good fit? Not often I’m afraid. You have to be creative and put yourself out there in the world. You’re not going to find love hiding behind closed doors.

dating-opportunitiesIf you’re not just looking for a casual dating encounter then you need to supplement your online dating with some quality activities. These can include speed dating, singles events, going out to an event, taking a class, joining a social club, joining a Meet Up group, well, you get the picture. You aren’t going to meet anyone while sitting in front of your computer sifting through profiles and wasting time chatting with people who probably have no intention of meeting you in person or pursuing anything real. Harsh? No. Reality. Yes. If you’re online dating and you’ve been chatting with someone for a week and there has been no talk of meeting in person then move on, especially if you initiated something and they make excuses, regardless of how perfect they are for you. Again, we’ve all been there. So back to creating dating opportunities, go out there and meet people. The best and most common place people meet their ideal match is by doing things they already love doing. By going out there and just being themselves. Imagine that.

Dating can be fun and you can achieve that fun by creating dating opportunities for yourself. How so? Well, instead of staying home and watching TV go out for a drink somewhere. Go for a walk in the busy part of town. Go to a trendy spot and have a coffee or something. But here’s the trick – put the phone away and take the headphones off. Smile at people, say hi, make random conversation. THAT is how to meet new people. Practice on people behind the counter or servers or whatever, but just do it. Be friendly and approachable and people will approach. It works. I know from experience. Try it. TRY IT! Don’t be shy. The only way to get what you want is to go out and get it. Nothing good in life ever comes easy, you have to work for it. Same goes for your love life. Now, go forth and create dating opportunities!!

Readers: Have you ever created dating opportunities for yourself? We would love to hear about your tips in the comments below!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

 

 

16 thoughts on “Creating Dating Opportunities

  1. Very funny….. about the “old mouse” comments on the dating experience . I notice quite a few of those old ones on the dating site OKcupid. How do I know they are old, and how do I remember them from years ago….. Well, quite a few people never change their dating profile photo. nor refresh their profile with updated info. I figure those people are just keeping an online profile out, to satisfy friends and relatives that always ask….”when are you going to meet a nice man to date” They have no mind of their own, to just tell those concerned people that they do not want to date anyone. So the free dating sites OKcupid and PlentyOfFish are littered with people who never answer any e-mails. Also, right on about so many people who seem to “want to meet someone and BAM” …Few will only exchange one of two e-mails, and then they go POOF, never to be heard from again. Last of all, I have been trying to put myself out and actually smile and talk with people while out and about. And yes, one excellent way is to meet interesting people, is to join a Meet Up group or two, or three!

    Keep up the good work, Suzie.

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    • Yes Suzie……. We are all guilty of not “being here now” when dealing with people. I know I’m in trouble when I meet someone, and they plop there cell phone on the table when we sit down. A thought comes into my mind, to excuse myself and head to the restroom…. and never return.

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  2. I’m a bit biased cuz I’ve met two really great guys off Tinder – but only because I put a lot of effort into filtering… however I REALLY agree with you about taking dating offline and just going out and experiencing people… Reconnect with the world without the digital aspect. It’s scary, sure, but could be really fun and exhilarating. Even if you don’t meet Prince Charming, guaranteed you’ll have some interesting conversations and meet some cool people!

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    • Thanks Elli! Tinder is hit and miss, although there are some great and interesting people on there, the chances of finding something real are much more difficult. But getting out there and taking dating offline gives you another venue for dating success.

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  3. It’s so true that there are so many opportunities to meet people, and yet we don’t take advantage of them. I will say that I’ve met a LOT of really interesting, creative, smart, intelligent people off of Tinder, so I don’t think it’s all that bad. It’s just another opportunity, not THE opportunity. It’s all about being open to possibilities! Great Post!

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    • Thanks Meena! I agree you can meet some great people on Tinder, the question is, are they looking for a relationship or just looking to hang out / hook up? There are lots of ways to meet people, the best way is by doing the things you love to do in your day to day life and be open to possibilities.

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  4. I really love this point of view. Too many times we leave it up to online or others to make dating in our lives fun and vibrant but it’s much easier to create a way for others to know you’re interested and go from there. That whole wondering if he’s interested drives me nutts! If I create the opportunities and he does too, we’ll both already know we’re equally as interested in each other!

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  5. I tried online dating over a year ago, for two and a half months, and I noticed a shared quality to the men who used it….not all, but most of them seemed very hard-up for sex, or said they could only meet me at certain times (the off-limit days/times were, I figured out, reserved for dates with other women). Just a general sense of confusion, discomfort and desperation. I might try again one day, but it has left a bad taste in my mouth. I’d rather hear of some other ways to meet men.

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    • Thanks Raven … the best way to meet people with common interests is doing the things you already do on a daily basis but opening your eyes up to potential opportunities and acting on them. Online dating really is hit or miss.

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