Creating dating opportunities is all about thinking outside the online dating box and finding love the old-fashioned way. It’s about finding love in everyday situations. Often times we look for the easy way out and want to get the most benefit with the least effort possible. Like with everything in life, you get what you put in, dating is no different. No fairy godmothers here to wave their magic wands! It’s all up to you!
Looking for Dating Novelty
I’ve learned over the years that people tend to like things that come easy. Creating dating opportunities isn’t even on the table. That’s too much work. People don’t want to work for it. They want to meet someone and BAM they want instant chemistry. If they don’t like someone on the first date or they don’t feel fireworks, then they don’t bother putting the effort in. A conversation with one of my friends today made me realize that it’s the novelty that they are looking for. They want their senses stimulated over and over again. In our podcast on the Science of Love with Dawn Maslar, she speaks about that very thing. Dawn mentioned a study where a male mouse was exposed to several females and once he had had his way with them, he got tired and uninterested. Once they put a new female mouse in, lo and behold, he suddenly had energy again (go figure!). But isn’t that what dating is all about? Really? Haven’t we all experienced that very thing? We’ve all been the “old mouse” and the “new mouse” haven’t we? Online dating gives the impression that you’re a rock star when all those people like your profile or send you messages but in reality it means nothing. But it’s that ego boost that makes online dating so appealing for many.
But back to our mice, I think that experiment is not only comparable to dating but especially online dating, particularly ones that don’t take too much effort like Tinder (yuk!). OK you all know how I feel about Tinder … I mean really, how serious can someone really be about finding a partner if they can’t even bother to create a real dating profile? Tinder is full of very accomplished men, as I experienced recently, and actually someone wrote an article about it recently, that it was busy men on there looking for some short term companionship. Apparently, they are too busy for online dating so this is the next best thing. Well, if they can’t bother to put effort in looking for someone, do you really think they can bother to put effort in an actual relationship? Ya, no. I did date a couple people off there, they were very accomplished men, but had nothing to offer but a ride in a nice car and a fun evening out. If that’s what you’re looking for, nothing more, then you’re in luck, Tinder is for you, but if you’re looking for something more substantial then stay away. Actually, online dating isn’t where you should invest most of you’re time and energy. Online dating has become more about quantity and less about quality. Yes, I said it. So what’s the solution? Well, creating dating opportunities is where it’s at.
Creating Dating Opportunities
So online dating hasn’t been working for you? Meeting a bunch of people who just want to chat and not actually meet? How about going out on fantastic first dates with a promise of a second date and then nothing? How about meeting someone who totally lied on their online dating profile on everything from their picture to what they do? We’ve all been there (more often than we’d like to admit!), but I have a novel idea … let’s take dating OFFLINE by creating dating opportunities for ourselves! Now THAT is an idea. Oh I know it takes some effort on your part, but seriously, shouldn’t you INVEST quality time in finding the right partner? We invest time in our work, in our education, even in our leisure activities but how often do we really invest time in finding that special someone who will be a good fit? Not often I’m afraid. You have to be creative and put yourself out there in the world. You’re not going to find love hiding behind closed doors.
If you’re not just looking for a casual dating encounter then you need to supplement your online dating with some quality activities. These can include speed dating, singles events, going out to an event, taking a class, joining a social club, joining a Meet Up group, well, you get the picture. You aren’t going to meet anyone while sitting in front of your computer sifting through profiles and wasting time chatting with people who probably have no intention of meeting you in person or pursuing anything real. Harsh? No. Reality. Yes. If you’re online dating and you’ve been chatting with someone for a week and there has been no talk of meeting in person then move on, especially if you initiated something and they make excuses, regardless of how perfect they are for you. Again, we’ve all been there. So back to creating dating opportunities, go out there and meet people. The best and most common place people meet their ideal match is by doing things they already love doing. By going out there and just being themselves. Imagine that.
Dating can be fun and you can achieve that fun by creating dating opportunities for yourself. How so? Well, instead of staying home and watching TV go out for a drink somewhere. Go for a walk in the busy part of town. Go to a trendy spot and have a coffee or something. But here’s the trick – put the phone away and take the headphones off. Smile at people, say hi, make random conversation. THAT is how to meet new people. Practice on people behind the counter or servers or whatever, but just do it. Be friendly and approachable and people will approach. It works. I know from experience. Try it. TRY IT! Don’t be shy. The only way to get what you want is to go out and get it. Nothing good in life ever comes easy, you have to work for it. Same goes for your love life. Now, go forth and create dating opportunities!!
Readers: Have you ever created dating opportunities for yourself? We would love to hear about your tips in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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