Dating Is So Messed Up These Days … This Is Why

dating-messed-upThe world is filled with rotten people. The world is filled with selfish narcissists. The world is filled with relationship teases. The world is filled with people who hurt others. The world is filled with people who have no clue what they want. The world is also filled with people with copious amounts of baggage. I’ve written before how I feel like my dating life is like dating from the “dating bargain bin. We all know what’s in the bargain bin don’t we?

The bargain bin is where retailers throw the merchandise that’s damaged, broken or doesn’t sell, the merchandise nobody really wants but settle for because they just MAY have potential for repair. There’s also the product that may have had the best marketing ploy ever and sold to unsuspecting people only to be returned because the product was a piece of crap. How about the product that just doesn’t function normally regardless of how much you try and make it work? It looks and acts normal, or so it seems, then, out of the blue it decides to crap out on you.

ALL bargain bin material … and THAT is the dating pool my friends. So what do you do when dating is so messed up these days? Well … you deal the best way you can and keep trudging through the muddy murky waters until you find something good. Not so easy, I know, but you have to keep trying and develop a very thick skin.

Dating Is So Messed Up These Days … This Is Why

So why is it that we’re left with this bargain bin? Why is dating so messed up these days? It’s because of two things:

1. People are addicted to being entertained

This makes their appetites for excitement insatiable. They are addicted to the excitement that comes from the early days of a new relationship. People don’t want to live in the real world, what they want is a virtual world where there’s no problems, nothing that needs working through. It’s dating in the age of instant gratification at its worst. There are so many “options” that no one wants to miss out on anything, as such, they set these unrealistic standards for themselves and others, leaving a path filled with broken hearts, confusion, people feeling used and abused. It’s no one’s job to be your circus clown. It’s time to ditch the dating ADD (attention deficit disorder) and grow the fuck up.

2. No one wants to try to make things work

This is happy-datingsomething I’m noticing more and more. When it comes to relationships, no one wants to try, why? Because that takes effort. There are so many short lived relationships these days it’s impossible to keep up. They are always looking for problems and miss the good stuff right in front of their eyes. Once the fireworks have died down and two people start cozying into a regular routine many run for the hills because they want that excitement again, so they start over with someone new and have the “WOW” moments until they settle into normal and then the dirty cycle starts again. Talk about exhausting!!

Dating Is So Messed Up These Days … Is There Hope?

dating-adviceWell, I’m not sure there’s much hope unless people make a conscious decision to change. It’s the way the world is these days. There ARE lots of great single people out there and you’ve dated them!! They treated you great and you loved being with them until things got to a “REAL” place and they ran for the hills when shit got real. You know I’m right. I challenge people to stop being so petty and to stop living in a fantasy world where everything has to be a certain way. The person you’re dating isn’t a circus performer and they don’t have to always entertain you. Why don’t you try building a life together for a change? Imagine that!? Imagine a world without bargain bins!? Where everyone actually is a quality product who have good intentions for others. Imagine that …

READERS: What are your thoughts on the topic? Is dating messed up these days? Why? Is there hope? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. Totally true! After being single, in not serious relationships for a long time I am in a serious one and you couldn’t define it better. It’s scary at some point and it’s been hard mental work to understand that when its seious and a oond term relationship, things are different, good though, but different.


  2. So true. One thing I’ve noticed (at least on dating sites) is the majority are single or divorced for a reason. Rarely did I encounter a never married man who was single because if reasons if shyness or into work. Instead it seemed they were never married because they were mentally challenged or mentally Ill or other reasons. The divorced were no better, they were divorced because they were nasty or abusive or cheaters. I rarely encountered divorced men who wanted to remarry because they were bitter. The only exception were dads who were looking for women to help support the kids or related. I suspect it’s because the normal people are either not online or were and gave up.

    Regarding these people, many are that way because they gave up. Many people have a romantic version of relationships. Relationships are also about things like friendship and being there. I know a few who started looking for someone else when the lust faded. Honestly too many people blows off friends first but I believe in it.


  3. I think the reason dating is so messed up is that everyone seems to have a hidden agenda.
    Ladies are looking for something serious and the fellas are looking for a physical relationship, for the most part. What is messed up is that no one is really trying to just enjoy each others company.
    Also I find that when looking for someone to date a lot of arbitrary issues come into play that don’t matter like their job, kids, previous relationships, height and weight.
    No one looks at that person as a stand alone entity they are looking at the “package” and if they don’t like one thing in the box it all goes in the bargain bin.
    And ladies, as a man I would appreciate it if you guys did the choosing instead of waiting to be chosen. I’m just saying.


    • Actually some of those do matter, especially kids. Dating someone with kids will affect their life.


  4. Yeah, there’s some notion out there that the purpose of dating is to find THE ONE who will mike all my life cares go away. Just like you said, they expect to be entertained. But even when shopping from the Bargain Bin you can find something that’s good for you and you can be happy with. You just gotta love it first.


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