Single dads (and moms) are busy people. If you fall into this category, here’s a universal truth you can relate to: raising kids is a lot of work!
Not only do single, full time parents have careers and households to maintain, they have sporting events, school field trips and parent teacher conferences to attend. Sometimes they feel like a full blown taxi service, just for their kids!
Whether you’re the mom or the dad, the duties are essentially the same. Get the kiddo up for school and feed them breakfast. Then get ready, drive to work, and grind away for 8 or 9 hours. Then, at the end of the work day, get home and do some chores. There’s laundry to wash and grass to mow. Oh, and don’t forget your child’s 6pm baseball practice! By the time you hit the weekend, you’re completely exhausted and need some time to recharge those batteries.
This doesn’t leave much time for a social life, leisure time or dating! This is why single dads need to maximize their free time, and not waste it on pointless dates with people who don’t match up. The astute male picks up on both the subtle, and not so subtle hints from the women he encounters. These hints help him decide if he wants to pass, or pursue something further.
REMEMBER: A loving single dad is generally deeply involved with his kids’ lives. He’s looking for a woman with similar qualities. He’s searching for a special gal that will eventually love and respect both him and his child. He’s looking for a partner to join him on his journey through life. He needs someone that complements his patience and love for his kids.
If you’ve never dated a guy with a kid, it’s wise to take an honest inventory of your feelings BEFORE entering the relationship. If you love kids and don’t mind hanging out with one that isn’t yours, that’s great! However, if you find children boring or irritating, it’s best to just walk away. You’ll be doing yourself and him a big favor.
Single Parent Dating – The Full Time Dad
Here are just a few things that a HIGH QUALITY dad looks at when choosing a woman to date. Some are strictly parent related, others are just plain common sense.
If she has kids, he wants to know that she’s a great parent.
The way she talks about and interacts with her kids is a direct reflection on her. She should treat her own kids with love and respect. As a parent he will appreciate these qualities, especially if he sees her as a potential long term partner.
He requires her to be polite and respectful to his kid(s).
He probably won’t involve her with his children until he’s certain she’ll be around for the long haul. The last thing a good dad will do is have a revolving door of strange women meeting his young ones. When the time finally comes to meet them, she should include them in conversations. She must be kind to them. It’s a good idea for her to bring them little gifts from time to time. He’ll greatly appreciate these kind gestures, even more so than the kids will. If she really wants to woo him, this is one of the keys to his heart.
He needs a woman who is patient and understanding.
This is especially important to understand if she doesn’t have kids. Inevitably, dates will need to be rescheduled or canceled from time to time. That awesome camping trip she planned 3 weeks ago could be in jeopardy, because Jr. is running a 104 fever and dad has to stay home. This is just part of the package that she needs to accept. If she’s the needy type that requires ALL his attention, there will certainly be conflicts. And she won’t win. This guy’s #1 priority is his kid, and it’ll cause nothing but frustration in the relationship.
He wants a woman who’s prompt and mindful of his time.
Single parents have a plethora of responsibilities to juggle from day to day. The last thing they want to do is sit around and wait for their date to show up for drinks. Sure, stuff happens: traffic jams and flat tires occur at the least favorable times. Guys fully understand this. In cases like these, the best thing she can do is communicate. Text him…or even better, call him and let him know what’s up. Single dads understand this, as they live a life of detours and curve balls.
He wants a girl that’s not afraid to get dirty.
Someday, the kid might want to play a game of muddy football in the rain! She should be more than willing to join in! If dad likes to garden, she should get out there and get her hands dirty too. If he works on cars, she shouldn’t be afraid to get a little grease on her hands.
BONUS: after the kid goes to bed, the adults can have their own play time. Sounds like a great opportunity to hop in the shower and “wash each other off!”
All in all, men aren’t really hard to please. At least MOST men! A little patience and understanding goes a long way toward winning his heart. Be there for him when he needs it. Give him space when he requires it. Respect his kids and you’ll be the only woman on his mind.
Dave is an unapologetic blogger at MrRacy.com. He’s also a 40 something single guy AND full time dad! His interests include dating, sex and relationships. Not necessarily in that order! You can connect with him on Facebook and Twitter.
Great advice. I don’t have kids but like them, I just don’t like the lifestyle. That sounds harsh but let me explain. As a childless woman I’m seeking a man who can give me what I give him. A dad can’t. Been there, done that and it’s something that doesn’t work for me. Yet for some reason I attracted single dads on dating sites, though my profile stated no dads. I also got the other kind of “dads” and those are what I call sperm donors. You know the type, they have kids (often illegitimate but not always)but they don’t spend time or money on them. I respect single dads who are involved in their kids lives but they have to realize someone like me isn’t for them. Just because I’m older doesn’t mean this is an option. It’s not, and as I get older it becomes more of an issue.
I will say though that single dads who are raising kids on their own with no mom are possibly exceptions. I might consider someone like a widower or adopted as a single dad but I rarely encounter these situations. I encounter men who are weekend dads or share custody with mom. Sounds like a contradiction but it’s not. In these cases the stepmom is playing mom, especially if they are young.
Hi agree with this article except that the focus is too much on the kids.
As a divorced father with shared custody I had to make it clear on my dating profiles that i am looking for someone for ME, not a new mom for my kids.
Women ask about my kids and I ask about there’s, but only to be polite. I’m more interested in you as a woman not as a mom.
So you can tell stories about your kids, but have other stories and interests.
And lastly when dating single dads remember it’s rough dating again so take it easy on us and think about what you as a woman would like in a mate and give that to the man you are considering dating.
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