What happens when you’re online dating and having a really hard time finding what you are really looking for? Disappointment after disappointment you start getting tired of the wrong people liking your profile and messaging you. So what do you do? What most of you do is write it in your online dating profile … does this look familiar? “Anyone looking for a hookup can keep walking”, “If you don’t have a car, job and life don’t bother messaging me”, “game players need not apply”, “no picture no message” …. you get the picture. So what kind of message does this send out? Not a very positive one. Even though you’re trying to “weed out” the bad eggs, what you’re actually doing is scaring away the good eggs … how? I’ll tell you.
Dating? Who Cares What You’re NOT Looking For!
So what message does it send out when you put all these “negative” statements in your online dating profile? It screams out “this person has unresolved baggage and lots of it”. That’s certainly not the message you want to be sending when trying to project the best image of yourself. You need to market yourself effectively in your online dating profile. What you do need to do is talk about who you are and what you’re looking for. Regardless if you put those statements trying to scare the bad eggs away, reality is that you won’t because you know from experience that they message you anyway because bad eggs typically won’t even write what you wrote anyway BUT the good eggs usually DO read your profile and THIS is why you need to be very strategic about what you write. Who cares what you’re NOT looking for, focus on what you ARE looking for.
Finding What You’re Looking For Online … There’s a Better Way!
I’m a big advocate of putting out what you want to get back … this is just as true in dating than anywhere else. What this means is not being negative in your profile or conversations (this also includes bashing your ex or previous dates you’ve been on). While people might enjoy your stories about the crazy people you’ve dating, no one wants to date someone who speaks negatively or constantly complains. Think of yourself, don’t you prefer being around positive people and people who make you feel good about yourself? Well so do your potential dates. What’s the better way? The better way is demonstrating that you’re healthy emotionally and mentally by being positive both online and offline.
You can also avoid all the creeps and losers online. I created a top 10 list of how to weed through online dating profiles to help you avoid the bad eggs. If you start off on the right foot, you will avoid the majority of the problems you all complain about. One the main ways I advise is to have a good dating profile. Yes, it really does make a difference. Putting that extra effort in at the beginning helps you get closer to what you’re looking for, avoiding what you don’t want without making all those negative statements. Wondering where to start? Read my top do’s and don’ts of online dating profiles for some great ideas. They are simple and easy to do. If you really insist on including what you don’t want, then put a positive or humorous spin on them. Remember, who care’s what you’re NOT looking for … show everyone why YOU are the prize not extra baggage they have to carry and stop complaining already, you need to have an attitude of gratitude!
READERS: Are you guilty of writing those negative statements in your online dating profile? What do you think when you see someone has written negative statements? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
My problem is no matter what I said I still attracted men I didn’t want. I would nicely say something like “childless woman seeks childless man” and still got dads so I then would put “single dads need not apply”. Either way I got nasty single dads. I wanted to include this because when I didn’t put it I got even more single dads.
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