I get a lot of emails and messages in a day … A LOT! Many times I see trends, some of them disturbing, but most often it’s people who are at their whit’s end and have no where else to turn. I love getting questions and helping people when I can, but sometimes I just want to shake people because they’re only hurting themselves.
So many single people are suffering out there, many of which suffering by their own hands. They are the authors of their own misery on the most part. They invest way too much time in the wrong situations and with the wrong people. They make bad dating choices and then blame their bad luck in love. They enable the bad behavior of people who are using them, making excuses for them. Should I go on?
These aren’t stupid people either, these are very intelligent people who, for whatever reason, make the wrong choices when it comes to dating and love. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll point the finger at myself first and foremost. Considering my dating history I can definitely see myself in these people. Live and learn, right? I achieved something great because I learned from my mistakes. But what does it take for someone to really turn their dating life around, moving it to somewhere more positive? I’m all about the tough love, so here it is … if I hear this one more time…
If I Hear This One More Time…
Before I begin I will say “been there, done that”. Everything I say here is from experience, I lived and learned all these things and no your situation or particular circumstances aren’t different, that’s what I would say to justify my bad decisions as well. I wanted so bad for some people to want me that I turned a blind eye to so many things.
Looking back now I can see the error of my ways, and I see these exact scenarios over and over again with my readers, so I wanted to help spare you the heartache and headache. It’s time for a reality check. Here are some of the situations I have been hearing from readers AND my non-nonsense response to them. Funny how most fall under the same categories, see below…
- Falling in love with booty call who only wants them for sex… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- Non committal dating partner… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- Partner who consistently “borrows” money… (their financial instability shouldn’t rest on your shoulders)
- Has a lot of baggage yet wants to find someone who will help them unpack / carry it… (take care of your baggage because it’s no one else’s responsibility)
- Doesn’t want to put any effort into dating… (everything good in life takes at least some work)
- Financially unstable, doesn’t have their life in order expecting someone to want them despite their financial problems… (you need to manage your expectations of others)
- Wanting to get their ex back desperately… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- Being constantly deceived online by people… (you are making bad dating choices for a reason, ask yourself why)
- Getting sucked in by narcissists… (you are making bad dating choices for a reason, ask yourself why)
- Dating someone who isn’t truly unattached… (you are making bad dating choices for a reason, ask yourself why)
- Having unrealistic expectations when dating… (you need to manage your expectations of others)
- Projecting long-term expectations on other people on the first date… (you need to manage your expectations of others)
- Over-analyzing people and dating situations… (you need to manage your expectations of others)
- How to get a guy to admit he likes you or to convince him he likes you… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- Someone is inconsistent with them / hot & cold… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- Someone says they don’t want a relationship, but they think they can convince them otherwise… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- How to get someone to unblock your number from their phone… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- How to get him to leave his wife/girlfriend for you… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- Someone smiled at me and liked my Facebook post, does that mean they want to be with me?… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- Their soulmate doesn’t want to be with them, why?… (if they wanted to be with you they would be)
- Has a sense of entitlement so no one lives up to their expectations… (you need to manage your expectations of others)
And my personal favorite …
- The guy I’m dating is a diva … what do I do? (you are making bad dating choices for a reason, ask yourself why)
So what’s the answer to all these questions? Self-respect and self-worth. You deserve all the happiness in the world, we all do, so remember that people treat you the way you allow them to. It’s plain. It’s simple. I want the best for you AND the best experiences dating.
I know that people sometimes have to make mistakes for themselves, but promise me you’ll make smarter decisions and be true to yourself above all things. It’s OK to make mistakes, just learn from them and move on, not making them again. I made a conscious choice to redirect my path and ended up exactly where I wanted to be all along. I want that for you too. Date smart. Date safe. Have fun.
READERS: Do you always end up with a broken heart or disappointment? Do you feel that you’re not finding quality people? Do you always fall for the same types of people? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Want some help attracting the RIGHT people? I’ve released my new workbook to help you attract the love you desire AND IT’S FREE… if you’re interested in receiving a free copy then click HERE and register your name, tell your friends too because this is a VERY VALUABLE resource! You CAN increase your datability and chances at your very own happily ever after (just like my clients AND me!), you just have to choose to get out of your comfort zone and start thinking strategically. I’ll show you how!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Reproduction of this page whether whole or in part is completely prohibited. Please use the contact form if you would like to discuss using any content on this site.