So what does consistent mean anyway?  Well, I guess you could say it’s unchanging, meets your expectations, perhaps you know it’s coming.  Consistently Inconsistent? Well … it’s just that.  You can always expect a person to be random, self-contradictory and of course ever-changing.  Know anyone like that? I know lots of people like that.  Sometimes it can be fun and adventurous to never know what to expect next.  But seriously, it’s exhausting … especially when you’re older than your 20’s.  You need to know what to expect from people, it’s just normal.  Isn’t that what a relationship is about? Sharing your life with someone?  At least I think that when you are in a relationship there should be an element of the unexpected, however, most of your lives together should be expected.  For example, you know that you always speak before going to bed, so that’s consistent.  A guy who calls you whenever he feels like it (and sometimes never), is inconsistent.  Consistently Inconsistent!

Mr. R.  I could always expect the unexpected from him!  At first it was fun, a little adventurous actually.  We would always meet unexpectedly … he would call or message me randomly and we would do something if I was free.  Note, HE would contact me, never the other way around … he was never available when I initiated.  Hmmm.  You should know, he is a “high-profile” person and is ALWAYS busy … so I got to be the “hang out when I am available” girl.  And because he definitely knew all the right things to say and I loved being around him, I let it happen.  Especially since I was dating others anyway, it wasn’t like I had any expectations from him (at least in the beginning).  Back to my story.  So Mr. Consistently Inconsistent would always call me at all hours of the day or night and I would pretty much always make myself available because I never knew when the next call would come.  We would do various things, depending on HIS mood.  Yes, I was totally an enabler of his bad behaviour.  I didn’t realize it at the time though, now I see it clear as day.  Almost a year has passed and nothing has changed between us.  We’ve gotten a lot closer for sure, but is it love? Well, no, maybe, no, I don’t know.  I sometimes wish it was, but then I think, how many others are there? If he gets his kicks from these kinds of random encounters, then, he’s not relationship material.  But I wish he was. Sigh …

So should we enable this bad behaviour?  Perhaps short-term … but you need to know your limits and boundaries.  What are you willing to accept and put up with.  Where do you draw the line?  Can you walk away easily? Guys like these you can’t have feelings for … they are just for fun … trust me.  I know because I did develop feelings for him, and I honestly think him for me too, but you can’t change them – plain and simple! Oh well … back to the drawing board!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

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