I’ve thought a lot about that recently. Who am I and do any of the activities in my life affect that? I came up with some answers I didn’t like. I am someone who is very strong and caring about others … where I fall short is that sometimes I care too much and in my effort to help others I end up hurting myself. I sometimes have that “superhero” syndrome where I need to make sure I “save” everyone. I need to make sure everyone does well and succeeds. I care so much that I sometimes forget myself and make myself sick. Is it selfish? Is it selfless? I don’t know, all I know is that it has to stop. I’m like that with my family, I’m like that in friendships, I’m like that in business and I’m like that in relationships. Which brings me to my topic today – being true to you while single and dating.
How do you stay true to yourself while single and dating? You need to be self-investing. Take care of yourself first and the rest falls into place. One good thing about me is that I am quite a strong person, very resilient, and when I do trip or fall I pick myself up quite quickly and keep moving … life’s to short to dwell on stupid actions or even stupid people. Believe it or not, I’ve met quite a few shady characters in my day and dated most of them! I’m sure you could say the same. But one thing they did teach me is that I need to be with the person who’s best for me … I do carry that forward to my personal and business life as well.
I like to surround myself with positive people who contribute to my life positively … and who appreciate what I have to give them, particularly in my lower, crazish times. Yes I do have them. Like I said above, if I care too much and see someone I care about making a mistake then I get crazish trying to help them which sometimes makes things worse. But you see, I’m learning fast. If they don’t want my help, I keep trying for a bit then I move on. I’ve learned if people want to crash and burn that’s their problem, not mine. It took me a long time to realize that. What do they say, if I knew then what I know now … Well, as long as I tried, that’s what matters to me. I have learned to also appreciate others’ contributions to my life, particularly my successes, and I always give credit where it’s due and never take advantage of other people for my own gain whether it’s when I’m dating someone, or friendship or business. Because you know what? Karma always bites you in the ass! I’ve seen it happen to others and it’s happened to me. But I digress …
So how do I apply this to my single and dating life? I have stopped being the hero who tries to “fix” a man. I don’t take on men who are special projects. I used to love trying to fix them … who has the time or patience for that? Being true to yourself also means encouraging others to be true to themselves. I want to like someone for who they are … the good and the bad. I also take care of me. Anything that doesn’t feel right goes out the window. If someone brings out the best in me then they stay. If they bring out my bad qualities (I know you’re shocked but I do have them) then they go. Simple as that. It’s all about being true to you. Why have a life that stresses you out? Seriously? Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. I also have been working on myself … the work in progress … internally and externally … by living a healthy lifestyle, meditating, keeping in touch with my spirituality and keeping myself busy. You can’t be of any use to others if you are a mess yourself. So part of being single and dating is taking care of you.
Although perhaps I’m not deeply in love yet with anyone, I’m getting there and I’m paving that road with solid stones so that I don’t fall again. Next time I fall in love he’s going to be worth it and he’s going to deserve it because he will be as giving as me … he will also not need me to give him his worth because he will be true to himself as well. So people, the moral of this blog post is – BE TRUE TO YOU … and invest in yourself. It’s the only you you’ve got!
And my lovelies … LIVE YOUR LIFE … BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU’VE GOT!!!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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