“Love does not consist of gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The further along in my dating adventure that I get, the more I see the importance of being on the same page as your significant other. What does that really mean? Well, it means that in all the important things you are in agreement. This doesn’t mean you have everything in common, nor does it mean you will never disagree, but what it does mean is that because you want your relationship to work, you will make it work. That is one of the main reasons for my divorce, we weren’t looking forward in the same direction … we were on totally different pages and, frankly, my ex husband didn’t even make an effort.
We get so caught up in the “finding things in common” aspect of dating that we forget the really important things like family, friendship, love, trust and respect. All these things form the foundation of a relationship, without them you really are just wasting time. I am not minimizing the importance of fun and mutual interests, but really, you can live with those kinds of differences and compromise. However, if someone doesn’t prove that they want to be with you then what’s the point really? If they don’t love you enough and treat you with respect you’ve got nothing.
Looking forward in the same direction also means the way you interact with family and friends. Are you a family oriented person? Then you need someone who is also family oriented. Do you enjoy spending time with friends? Then you need someone who supports that and increases your network of friends. It’s simple really, but we complicate things by thinking people will change (I’ve also made that mistake). What you see is what you get. No one is perfect, but some things should be given more importance then others. Consider what you are willing to compromise on and what things are deal breakers.
Personally, that’s what I am really looking for, someone to walk on my journey with me. I know there will be bumps and craters in the road, but when I fall they will help me up and dust me off, and I will do the same for them. When we come to a fork in the road, we will decide together which way to go, as a team. This is my ideal … this will be my reality … I just have to believe.
Stirring the Dating Sauce,
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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