The most challenging part about dating is actually getting that date! There’s so much competition out there and, often times, not so much selection. Online dating potentially gives you quantity, but, quality? Not so much! So what is someone to do to get more dates? Well, a lot. You just have to have the right perspective. Stop looking at other people’s dating experiences and comparing yourself. Some people find the right person right away while for others it takes a little more time. Just be patient and enjoy the process, the outcome will be much better if you do that. In the mean time, if you’re actively dating here are five things you should do right now to get more dates.
Dating? Five Things You Should Do Right Now To Get More Dates!
So how CAN you get more dates? Well, it’s simple … here are five things you should do right now to get more dates!
1. Get More Dates By Looking In The Mirror
Putting your best foot forward is your number one priority to get more dates. What that means is that you should always look and smell your best (but you already knew that, right?). Don’t ever leave the house looking like you just woke up or not care about who sees you in your ripped up old clothes. You know as well as I do that that’s the day you’ll run into someone you’ve had your eye on. Looks DO matter, sorry to say, so make sure you put your best foot forward.
Looking in the mirror also means taking care of your drama and baggage before seriously looking for a relationship. We’ve all got some sort of baggage, but heavy loads are not anyone else’s problem but yours so deal with it before meeting someone new. This baggage can also cloud your judgement about someone and you’ll miss red flags or see red flags where there are none. So get more dates by looking in the mirror and making sure you are a “good catch”. Doing the “prep” work will allow you to have a better experience overall.
2. Get More Dates By Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone
We tend to stick to our comfort zone socially and when dating. This isn’t how to get more dates. Actually, your comfort zone could very well be why you’re still single. A favorite quote of mine is from Albert Einstein, he said that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Does that sound like you? Ya, me too. Until I realized what I was doing. I was self sabotaging my own love life by staying in my comfort zone because I was familiar with it. You need to try something new. Relationships are all about taking chances and risks. There is always some sort of an emotional risk when you enter into the dating world, that is why you need to step out of your comfort zone because that’s where all the good stuff is.
This also means trying different ways of meeting new people. If you always rely on online dating, try going to an event or a meetup. You can also volunteer, or take a class, join a sporting team. Meet new people. The older you get the more you’ll end up being the only single person in your group of friends, so you need to get out and make new friends. New friends means new dating potential and you’ll get more dates, even for the socially awkward. So get out of your comfort zone and your familiar atmosphere and you’ll be happy you did!
3. Get More Dates By Taking Advantage of Opportunities
I wrote a little while back that you should create your own dating opportunities. What that means is that if what you’re doing isn’t working out for you and you’re still single, then try something else! Get more dates by creating dating opportunities. What this also means is taking advantage of opportunities that arise. You might be out getting your lunch on a weekday and see an attractive person in line ahead of you. What you’ll usually do is just wait in line and miss that opportunity because you’re nervous or you make up all the worst case scenarios in your head. What you should do is just open up a conversation with them, you’re both standing in line, doing the same thing, waiting together. Just make a comment about the wait or ask what they’re ordering because you can’t decide what to get. At the very least you’ll make the wait a little more bearable, best case scenario you’ll hit it off and maybe exchange numbers. You never know unless you try!!
There are countless opportunities all around you. You can get more dates if you take advantage of them. What sorts of opportunities you ask? Well, go grocery shopping at the right time when singles go, like the evenings after 7PM. Most couples, married or not, or families are at home at that time. Especially Sundays. When you see someone you might like to talk to then strike up a conversation about whatever it is you’re both looking at. Other types of opportunities? While you’re getting coffee or while you’re walking down the street or walking by a bar and see someone sitting alone. We’ve ALL had opportunities that we’ve been too nervous to actually do something about. I will bet you can recall at least one while you’re reading this. So take that opportunity because you really never know.
4. Get More Dates By Getting Off Your Ass
Yes, you heard me right. Get out there. Put yourself out there. Don’t just sit at home and wallow in self pity because you’re single and lonely. You want to get more dates? Then it’s up to you. It’s the summer, what that means is that there are a lot of things going on in your community. Whether it’s a festival or event or even just an activity or meetup there is something going on. This means is that there is an opportunity to see new faces and meet new people. You just have to get off your ass and go. You aren’t going to meet anyone staying at home watching reruns or playing video games or checking Facebook. You know that I’m right. We’re all guilty of being lazy when it comes to dating. Dating Apps like Tinder make us even more lazy because they take almost no effort and we think that’s going to get us more dates. Nope, it might get you some, but most people don’t really want to meet you they just want to feed their ego. That’s what online dating accomplishes. Getting off your ass and meeting real people in a real environment will get you the results you are looking for. Sorry, but you know that I’m right.
5. Get More Dates By Asking
OK seriously, is that a no brainer or what? But if you meet someone that you like and you feel might potentially be interested then ask them out. You don’t have to make it an official date. Ask them to go do an activity related to whatever it is you’re talking about. Maybe you’re at a park listening to live music when you meet them, so suggest another related activity and ask if they want to join you. Maybe during your conversation with someone they mention they love a certain kind of food, then tell them you know a great place that serves the best whatever it is and ask them if they’d like to join you. How about that person in line ahead of you at lunch? Well, you can mention that this place is good, but you know this food truck down the street that makes the best whatever and ask them to join you tomorrow or another day for lunch. You get my point. If you relate it to what you’re talking about then you’re more likely to get a positive response because it’s less pushy and threatening. No one likes a pick up artist, even if they find them entertaining, they rarely take them seriously. So go the route of being yourself. If they say no, then that’s OK too. You tried. Rejection is part of dating. Just move on to the next person.
So there you go, five things you should do right now to get more dates. It’s really about putting yourself out there and meeting people. It’s also about taking chances. You won’t know unless you try, so go forth and take a chance! You’ll be happy you did!!
Readers: How do you find people to date? What advice would you give for people to get more dates?
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Anyway Suzie, very true about the quantity of dating partners, but quality??? The dating process seems more like trying to find that “needle in the haystack”….. But, keep looking, and find some humor in the journey!.
Get more dates by going to singles events.
I love the get more dates by getting out of your comfort zone! Most women (and men for that matter), even as adults, don’t want to try something new because they’re almost afraid of knew experiences.
I’d also like to add that I think people would get more dates about being honest about what they don’t want. Instead of settling for what they can get, and tolerating people they’re really not that into, they need to cut the crap (and those people) out of their lives to make room for the people and the experiences they DO want!
I definitely agree with the comment about getting out of ones comfort zone. It always surprises me how many of my clients are actually afraid to try something new (even when they really want to) simply because it’s something they’ve never done before. I always try to stress to them that they’re more likely to meet people with the same interests as them at such events.
Another tip I would add is that people (in my experience, especially women) would get more dates by clearing the clutter out of their lives in the form of stop dealing with people they settle for. This would free up much of their time to be open to meet and engage with the people they genuinely want and interest them.
I think another rule you should follow is not trying so hard to get that one ‘date’. Be yourself and not be so worried about getting turned down if you ask.
Love it! #4 especially. Feeling sorry for yourself and waiting for Prince Charming to rescue your miserable ass will get you nowhere!
Anybody you date also has single friends. If you decide that your date isn’t The One, then realize that you have the opportunity for this new person to become an ambassador for you. I always treated my dates with utmost respect, largely because it was the correct thing to do, even when they were a dismal date. After a while the surprise return was that I started getting referrals – they told their friends about me and that led to more dates.
Hey, great advices and surelly been up to some latelly but im in a current predicament,
Love is fantastic feeling and the best to rule your life by.
Early this year my long lasting relation came to an end, it had ended long before but i was blind to see it.
Then out of nowere and months later i reacquainted an old friend, me and this girl never really bonded but now i discovered a wonderfull,beautifull,funny, educated, fighter,determinded woman. I felt drawned to her but only cause i needed a new friend but over time i couldn´t help but to fall for her. We have so much in comun, from music to world views, even the way we think, its a match and i couldn´t believe that after such a litle while i was meeting someone this perfect i couldn´t be this lucky!! and im not. She, thanks to past relationships, is afraid to commit, afraid to guive her heart away, like me and everyone else she is terrified to get hurt again and in result she has been alone for years and is acostumed to be like that. I adore her,she is perfect in every detail and even her flaws fit her wonderfully and she holds me in the highest regard and im glad she doesn´t percieve me as all the other men but to my own sorrow she doesn´t feel the same way i do. I respect that! we can not force people to love us but i can´t shake the feeling that her fear of pain is holding her back, clouding her judgement, stoping her from embracing happiness and me..i feel like the universe has guiven me a chance and then took it back! as some kind of sick joke!
I dont wanna get hurt or hurt anyone, thats what i believe in and thats how i keep my heart and my conscience pure but i know not what to do or what to think!
I mean i totally respect if she doesn´t feel the same but it kinda suck having so much in comon and in the end ..you know what i mean.
Got any advices??
Thanks,keep it up.
Create your opportunities is perfect! If you’re over players and party girls, you need stop looking in clubs/bars! Go to events that attract people with similar interests. Love art, go to gallery events. Love jazz, go see live jazz in your area. Love hiking, join a hiking group. Great post, Diva!
These are definitely some great tips… I especially like #1, because it seems so important to know who you are, to then know who you want, to then seek them out. Such an important part of the journey. Great post!
I appreciate all these points Suzie, but as a very shy guy, I’ve never been able to ‘just ask’ a woman I think is interesting out – it takes a lot of preparation, even after years of trying…
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