If you’re dating online, then your online dating profile could be the reason you’re not having much success. With all the clients I’ve worked with I’ve noticed the same mistakes over and again – they are presenting themselves in a not so appealing light. However, effectively marking yourself in your online dating profile is the first step to online dating success. Think of your online dating profile as your personal advertisement. That’s why you need to make it appealing and interesting enough to draw people in and enticing enough to message you. Easy peasy right? Well, not for everyone. I get lots of emails about this and thought I would write some of my go to top tips to help you out!
Dear Single Dating Diva,
I don’t seem to be having any luck with my online dating profile and I need some tips on what to write in it. What makes an online dating profile successful?
Thanks for your help!
Dear Online Dater,
Thanks for your email. I’m happy to help give you some tips on how to make your profile one that people actually look at. Remember that your online dating profile is a first peek into who you are. It’s a glimpse into your life. It’s your first impression to those you hope to attract. So why wouldn’t you put a stellar profile out there for all to see? In my experience either people try too hard or don’t try enough. However, if you’re serious about meeting someone you need to stand out from the crowd in a GOOD way. How to do that? Lucky for you I’m here to help!
What To Write In Your Online Dating Profile
Here are my top 5 tips on what to write in your online dating profile:
- Start with a good picture. Your picture is the first thing people look at. Think of it as your advertisement logo or graphic. Your picture and only your picture is what makes someone want to click on your profile to find out more. So make sure that you’ve got a good one. I typically advise my clients to have a maximum of 3 pictures – one picture of their face for the main image, one full body picture, one picture of them doing something they love that speaks to who they are and what they love. No group pictures. A picture with their pet is OK. NO mirror selfies!! Pictures MUST be recent, no more than 2 years old. Pictures must be of you not someone else (yes, people put pictures of others). Pictures should not all be from the same place, same time if you can help it. If you’ve got a crappy picture then even if you’re an amazing person with a lot to offer no one is going to want to find out. So have good pictures and before you post them ask for your friends’ opinions if they like them or not.
- Have a good headline. Think of your headline as your slogan or the title you would choose for your autobiography. It has to be creative, catchy but also reflect who you are. It has to be simple but catchy, even funny. What really describes you if you could only use a couple of words? It should also set you apart from the crowd. Think about your favorite slogans, what makes them so memorable? Use them as an example. Read more about slogans here, it should give you an idea about what you should write.
- Leave something to the imagination. Your write-up shouldn’t have everything but the kitchen sink in it. Leaving something to the imagination leaves them intrigued and gives you something to talk about. For example, you don’t have to write each and every place you’ve traveled, but you can write that you like to travel to places you can learn about ancient history and that you’ve learned the most in your travels in India. So instead of saying “I’ve traveled all over the world. I’ve been to India, Thailand, Italy, Greece and Egypt.” you should say “I enjoy travelling to places that satisfy my hunger to learn more about history. My recent trip visiting the temples in India satisfied that desire.” See what I did there? That gives some information but makes someone want to know more and ask questions.
- Top 5 reasons someone should date you. Next, you should, for yourself, write down the top 5 reasons someone should date you. Next, put that into your profile. Demonstrate WHY you stand out from the crowd. Show them what you have to offer that no one else does. Don’t say that you have a good sense of humor, tell them why you do. Why should someone walk into your store? What makes you a hot commodity? If you don’t know what makes you so special then why should they even bother?
- Stay positive. Time and again, over and over, I see people writing what they DON’T want in a person, or they list things that people should not be if they plan on sending them a message. Negative negative negative. You know what that does? It makes quality people not want to send you a message. Also putting yourself down doesn’t appeal to anyone. Use only positive language in your profile. Saying things like “here I am again”, “I’m back trying online dating again maybe I’ll be successful this time” makes you look like there’s something wrong with you. Don’t write “if you’re unemployed don’t bother writing me”, instead write “I am looking for someone who has a job that they enjoy or find rewarding”. So keep it positive and you’ll be more appealing.
So there you to, my top 5 tips regarding what to write in your online dating profile. I hope you’ve found them somewhat helpful. Just keep in mind that your online dating profile is an advertisement. You’re the hot commodity that everyone should want. How to do that? Well, by putting your best foot forward and standing out from the crowd that’s how! So go forth and promote promote promote!!!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
I agree with number 5. I find sometimes they can be too specific mostly with the how the girl should look like: “I like girls with long blonde hair”. That just gives off a narrow minded vibe which instantly puts me off, espcially when I am none or very few of the things they have listed.
LOL, Miss Confused Woman … Yes, I like “girls with long blonde hair”… or long brown hair… oh wait make that long red hair 🙂 Anyway, you make a good point – who really cares about hair color, or if a guys has hair – Whoops 🙂
Haha exactly my point! Who cares? It just puts me off!
Oh my, I have a few things to say about #1, YES YES YES……I remember one lady that said she was a nurse, and had a photo of herself in a white nurse’s uniform, with HAT – Yes from I think the 1970s. I have also seen numerous women’s photos of themselves standing with one of two other ladies – Yes, you had guess which one is her, since she never even put a caption below the photo. Or how about women that put up photos where they are standing next to a handsome man, but never identify him as possibly her son or ex. Or the vacation photos where the lady is a dot on the landscape! I can go on and on. Of course, I have to add women who have photos that do not even look like them – you go to meet her and expecting a blonde, and a redhead shows up!
On to #3. I’m just amazed at times how women can just go on and on about themselves, paragraph after paragraph – Oh my golly, my eyes are glazing over – ENOUGH 🙂 Why do women have to write chapter sizes intros on who they are and what they have doing in life.
Last of all, #5 – YES ….. be positive and also do not threaten all guys who are reading your profile. I remember one well endowed lady that had numerous photos of herself in low cut blouses. She seemed very nice, until she went into a tirade, which took up most of her profile intro – Yes, you guess it, cursing guys who were writing and saying how much they would like to “motorboat” her breasts. I was going to write and suggest not having those suggested photos posted, but I knew better to stay away from that lady. Oh, OK, so be positive and do not list things that people should or should not be – is that include women saying they are looking for a guy with…… Blues eyes. I think that falls into this category 🙂
Anyway Suzie – another good list for everyone to read. Keep up the good work ♥
Love the tip about staying positive! By listing all the things you don’t want, you make it sound too specific. Great tips!
On point as always, Diva =). Great tips!
“Stay positive” Great Advice Diva, When I see someone complaining or dissin’ others I see big red flags and sirens that say “Baggage!”. Stay positive and if you’re not, work it out before writing your profile (or getting into another relationship).
These are all great tips–especially like “leave something to their imagination”. That’s very original, and your suggestion on how to rephrase a simple sentence offers concrete, easy to understand advice. Great post!
Ohhh I love the “Top 5 Reasons to Date Me” idea… talk about rockin’ some confidence! Love it!
Great advice! I suggest the more information you can put the better. When I was online, I hated when I would see a woman I was interested in and her profile simply said “if you want to know anything, just ask!” I hate that! I have to try to come up with some question that gets your attention and interest out of thin air. If it’s even a little off the beaten path, I’m looked at as weird and deleted.
When you put some of your interests, it saves us both time. Either I realize from the start that we have zero in common and I move on, or I see we do have things in common and can write you an email based on our interests.
Lastly, let the real you show off. I am a sarcastic/dry humor person. I weaved that into my profile. Did it turn off women? Most likely. But again, it saves us both time. I had a bunch of women (even my future wife) comment on how much they loved reading my profile and how hard they laughed.
Yes Don! It’s always nice to put some information on your profile, and not have that silly question that I have seen many times “if you want to know anything, just ask!” . But I assume lots of people are way to busy even to do that. On the dating site OKcupid, there is an area on the right side of the profile that list stuff you can fill out – like height, diet, religion, sign, job………. and more questions. Most people do not even fill that out….which it is an easy Q & A form to tell everyone about yourself fast.
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