Some people are single because frankly they choose to be, many others, however, don’t choose the single life. They try and fail what seems like endless times to find love but they never seem to succeed. Is this you? Do you feel like regardless of what you do you just can’t catch a break? Do you play the blame game and victim time and time again? Do you always make excuses about your dating life and the people you date? Is it ALWAYS their fault not yours?
You need to take responsibility for your reality because you have more control over your circumstances and your dating life than you think. It wasn’t until I realized I was self-sabotaging my love life over and over again that I changed my course and found love waiting for me. Think of this as a little bit of tough love courtesy of the Single Dating Diva, but do yourself a favor and take this seriously because some people will continue to have dating fail after dating fail unless they change some key things in their life.
Why Some People Will Always Be Single
So why will some people always be single? Here’s why…
Are you attracted to the “bad boys” or “bitches”? There’s just something about them that keeps you going back, perhaps it’s their charisma, perhaps it’s their looks or maybe their success but by focusing your attention on these people who really don’t want you in any real way is keeping you single. They’re just not into you? MOVE ON! Start dating someone who isn’t your regular type.
Unhealthy Emotional Attachments
Do you get attached to people easily? Do you always choose the emotionally unavailable people to date? Do you have casual sex hoping your booty call turns into a relationship? Do you pick “special projects” thinking you can change them? Do you live in dreamy dreamy land waiting for your prince or princess to come to save you from your life of loneliness? Is everyone you meet your “soul mate”? This is why you’re still single and until you stop this vicious cycle of unhealthy emotional attachments you won’t find love and you’ll always be single. Save your affection for someone who deserves it!
Do you have trust issues? Are you always the victim? A bad breakup making you skiddish? Well, you’re not alone but you really need to unpack that baggage and deal with it before dating. Whether consciously or not, this baggage, your past, is keeping you single and you’ll always be single unless you deal with it.
Do you only want a CERTAIN type of person and won’t settle for less than the best? Sure attraction is important in a partner but values are what’s most essential. Base your selections on the things that matter. Dealbreakers are very important to be aware of, but also determine what your realistic needs from a partner are and who best meet those needs.
Sense of Entitlement
Do you think you’re a catch and only worthy of the best? Well, our society has put us all in our happy padded cells and has told us we’re special and, as a result, we are self-sabotaging our love lives. Yes you deserve to be happy, yes you deserve a good life, yes you deserve an awesome partner and yes you deserve great experiences but you need to drop the sense of entitlement. Just because you have an education or a good job or money or even that you’re attractive, it doesn’t mean that you are better than anyone and shouldn’t give people chances if you deem them “lower” than you. Your sense of entitlement will keep you single because it takes you out of the “real world” so drop it.
You like your life how it is, why would you want to change it? The routine is comforting, the people you surround yourself with are easy, life isn’t chaotic, everything works. Why would you want to go out on that ledge and risk getting a broken heart? Well, with all new things and experiences comes risk but also reward, same goes for dating and unless you get out of your comfort zone and take a chance you will always be single.
Low Self Esteem
Perhaps you don’t feel that you deserve love or the real deal. Maybe a lot of bad experiences have made you jaded. Maybe you don’t feel that you are attractive enough or that you just don’t fit in. Whatever the case may be, your lack of self-esteem is keeping you single. Confidence is sexy, so whatever it is that is making you feel not good enough do something about it. It’s in your power to fix it.
I left this one to the end because all of the above really mean one thing, you’re emotionally unavailable and not really as open as you thought you were to love. Until you’ve dealt with this you will always be single because it’s going to hold you back. How do you know you’re emotionally unavailable? Read HERE to find out.
So there you have it, why some people will ALWAYS be single and it has nothing to do with there being “no good men” or “no good women” out there, it has nothing to do with people who are assholes, and it has nothing to do with THEM and EVERYTHING to do with YOU! People treat you how you let them, remember that. So do something about it!! Stop blaming others, start taking responsibility for your actions. Single is NOT a bad word, so be happily single while you’re looking for love and do everything in your power to be the best version of yourself and put that out to the world. It all starts with being ready emotionally, mentally and physically.
Think you’re going to be forever alone? I’ve released my new workbook to help you attract the love you desire AND IT’S FREE… if you’re interested in receiving a free copy then click HERE and register your name, tell your friends too because this is a VERY VALUABLE resource! You CAN increase your datability and chances at your very own happily ever after, you just have to choose to get out of your comfort zone and start thinking strategically. I’ll show you how!
READERS: Have you thought you would be forever alone? Are some people destined to always be single? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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I fall into several categories mentioned on this blog. Oh dear. I guess I got work to do.
I too fall into several categories. I will readily admit that when I was younger I was exceptionally picky. I’d met great guys and find something wrong (usually they weren’t attractive to me). As a result I find myself 45 and alone. The sad thing is now when I try to find men what’s left are worse than the men I rejected years ago. I am not looking for a handsome rich man in shape because who isn’t? but basically a guy around my age with no kids, little baggage who wants marriage. Finding these guys is hard because mostly what are left are single fathers, guys with way too much baggage (mental illnesses that are severe, substance abuse problems, broke etc), or guys who don’t want marriage or relationships. I’ve tried opening up certain standards (like being less picky on weight and even considering alcoholics), and still nothing. I know one of my issues is I get stuck on a guy and have a hard time grasping when to move on. I kind of have that problem now. I am interested in a guy (we are friends)who doesn’t have time to date. I connect with him and keep hoping he comes around. He also has a drinking problem. I mean I would be open to meeting other guys but can’t seem to find guys who like me who I like.
I have also fallen into several of these categories. But happy to learn from my self destructive patterns! Great post. Thank you!
I realized from my own experience one is single as long as one chooses to be. Listed above are their excuses to remain single. Maybe they don’t even realize it. I certainly didn’t for a long time. When it hit me I’m dwelling in a comfort zone and I got ready to step out of it, I did the necessary action to meet my life partner.
Wow, while reading this, I checked at least 4 of these categories that is really on point for me. Need to change myself before I find myself alone in life. (-__-)
Similar to real estate, location is another factor. I find it to be twice as difficult in NYC for a guy to find a date than a woman. Not saying that her dates are all successes but they’ll at least exist.
Love this! I’m constantly telling friends, family, and clients about these issues. I love to see it in a concise list, and will pass this on. 🙂 Lately I feel the largest issue is “Sense of Entitlement.” Everyone is told they are so wonderful all they time that they expect relationships to be 100% perfect.
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