Time and again I see great single people passed over simply because they are lacking one important personality trait – charisma. What is charisma? The official definition is “a special magnetic charm or appeal” that attracts the desire of others. People just want to talk to and be around those with charisma. They are interesting and have a magnetic presence. Attractive or not, they always have people around them. I have seen many not so attractive singles with charisma get a lot of attention from the those they desire while attractive singles with no charisma are left in their dust. Don’t get me wrong, a certain level of attraction is important, but, charisma gets you so much further. So are you doomed if you don’t have a charismatic bone in your body? Well…
Charisma Is So Important When Single & Dating
Charisma is all about how you communicate with others. Since I’m a communications specialist by education and trade I’m going to show you how you can attract the love you desire, or at the very least increase your datability, by injecting some charisma in your personality. I’m not saying that it’s going to be easy but it’s definitely going to be worth it!
By definition, when you’re charismatic, you are attractive to others, you have a certain charm and you have the ability to influence the people around you. You’re just overall interesting. Some key factors are said to make someone charismatic: “confidence, exuberance, optimism, a ready smile, expressive body language, and a friendly, passionate voice“. While some people are just born with it, others have to learn it. The best way to achieve this is by breaking each key factor one by one.
Confidence: Being confident means knowing who you are and what you have to offer. It doesn’t mean being arrogant or narcissistic. It means standing tall, looking good when you walk out the door, feeling good, thinking positive, being grateful, always having eye contact, smiling and not letting others affect your mood. Not so confident but working on it? Then fake it till you make it. A confident person also doesn’t compare themselves to others. They are happy for other people’s accomplishments and celebrates them, even if they are a competitor.
Exuberance: Exuberant people are always happy and spread happiness wherever they go. They are excited about life and enthusiastic about people, events, as well as things without going overboard. They appreciate and are grateful for each moment and experience. Exuberant people ALWAYS stand out from the crowd in a good way. Their positive attitude and energy are contagious. They also surround themselves with others who are like them. They surround themselves with those who will lift them up, not drag them down.
Optimism: Having optimism is being hopeful. They always see the bright side of situations. The glass is always half full. They don’t have time to worry about tomorrow because it’s all going to turn out for the best, they’re too busy appreciating today. They know how to control their emotions and are more thoughtful than reactive to not so pleasant situations. When they are faced with challenges they always see the good in it and look for positive outcomes, regardless of how hopeless it might seem. Optimism is all about positive energy – knowing that feeling and putting out positive energy will only attract positive events and situations.
A Ready Smile: A smile is just plain attractive. No one wants to be around a gloomy sulky person. It demonstrates that you’re a warm person. It also shows that you are a confident, exuberant and optimistic person. Besides making you feel good, your smile puts other people at ease. According to scientists, “each time you smile you throw a little feel-good party in your brain. The act of smiling activates neural messaging that benefits your health and happiness“. Now, who doesn’t want a feel-good party in their brain? I mean seriously!
Expressive Body Language: I can’t stress enough how important body language and nonverbal behavior are when single and dating. When you stand up or sit up straight, have eye contact, smile, use your hands properly and walk like you are somebody (not in a snobby way). Never keep your hands in your pockets, cross your arms, fidget with objects, look around or slump. You can read a lot about a person by their body language. A charismatic person never looks nervous or frumpy, they walk in a room and EVERYONE notices. Their energy is magnetic. That’s all because of body language and nonverbal behavior.
Friendly, Passionate Voice: The way a charismatic person speaks makes people want to listen. They know how to carry on a conversation with someone. They are interesting and know how to tell a story. They are also great at active listening and making the other person feel important, like the most important person in the room. They could be talking about the most random thing but they make it sound like the best idea ever. They also aren’t chronic oversharers, they ALWAYS leave something to the imagination. They ALWAYS leave you wanting more.
Learning how to be charismatic is possible, but you have to pry yourself out of your comfort zone and accept that you might fall and have to pick yourself up several times. However, as with everything else practice will make perfect and you will get there and reap the rewards that come with it. One step at a time. Give yourself mini challenges and set small goals. Just try it and see! Because love really is on the other side of your comfort zone!
READERS: Are you charismatic or do you feel that’s a personality trait that you’re lacking? Is charisma something you look for in a partner? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
If you need help with finding your true path in love (and being more charismatic), check out my dating support services here (I can create packages and services that meet any budget): https://singledatingdiva.com/helping-you-find-love/
Need help dealing better with your dating and love life? I’ve released my new workbook to help you attract the love you desire AND IT’S FREE… if you’re interested in receiving a free copy then click HERE and register your name to get the book, tell your friends too because this is a VERY VALUABLE resource! You CAN increase your datability and chances at your very own happily ever after (just like my clients AND me!), you just have to choose to get out of your comfort zone and start thinking strategically. I’ll show you how!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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Great post and I agree.
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