Are you online dating? Are you successful? Chances are you probably aren’t. Am I being negative? No, just being realistic. I am all about the tough love! Getting a response online dating is hard for many, dare I say MOST, people who are trying to find love. Many of the questions I get emailed is asking “what am I doing wrong?” Why is that? Well, lots of reasons.
- First of all, those who have the most charisma when single and dating attract others like magnets leaving the rest in the dust often times.
- Also, online daters really don’t market themselves very well online. Like it or not, you need to be dating competitively … there are soooo many others online who want the same things as you, the same people as you and if you don’t stand out from the crowd you’re going to have a much harder time.
- Many have a sense of entitlement that’s keeping them single. They want only what they perceive is the best, because, well, they are a GREAT catch and any person would be only too lucky to have them. But aren’t catches usually “caught” pretty early on? You may not be a catch to those who you’re pursuing.
- Some people, too, do all the right things (in theory) and still don’t get responses online dating. Why? Well, it’s a matter of taste. People can’t help what they want and what they’re attracted to, so, you need to be what you want to date.
So how do you solve all these challenges? I will tell you!
Ask Single Dating Diva: I Never Get Responses Online Dating
So let’s tackle each one of the challenges listed above…
- Be more charismatic! I know that doesn’t come naturally to everyone but try to be more magnetic and interesting by being a good conversationalist. Always have good topics to discuss in your back pocket. Appear more confident (both online and offline) but not cocky. When responding to someone’s profile make an observation about their profile and chime in with an interesting anecdote about you that you think they’d like with leaving something to the imagination.
- Market yourself better! Like it or not, you’re a product and you need to sell that product. This means having a great online dating profile – good recent appealing pictures (the first thing people see and will make them want to click or not), a headline that pulls people in and a profile that isn’t too long or too short that makes others want to learn more about you. Leave out the cliches, leave out the negativity, leave out the baggage and for goodness sake don’t put things like “here I go again” or “don’t message me if …”.
- Ditch the sense of entitlement! No, you’re not a catch and you’re not more special than anyone else. Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s true. You’re the best thing to happen to SOMEONE but not most people. Remember that. The trick is finding that someone. That someone won’t even give you a second look if your profile picture makes you look pretentious or “too attractive”. If they sense too much bragging, cockiness or pretentiousness in your profile, forget it, they’re moving on. Trust me, demonstrating your quality subtly will get you more attention AND the RIGHT attention.
- Rejection is normal! As Dita Von Teese said, “you can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches” and she’s right. Not everyone is going to like you, just like you’re not going to like everyone. But if you want a certain type of person then demonstrate you’re that person’s type. Don’t take it so personally when you’re rejected online, just develop a thick skin and keep trying until you get what you’re looking for. Others, just like you, can’t help who they are attracted to. It’s not a competition. It’s better to wait longer and get the quality you’re seeking rather than wasting your time with people who aren’t quite right.
If something isn’t working for you then make some adjustments in how you’re presenting yourself and keep trying! Sometimes changing it up will jump start your online dating luck. Also, perhaps trying a new site could help. As they say, if at first you don’t succeed, try try again. I went out of countless dates before finding my happily ever after. Each one of my experiences led me on the path to the love I always wanted. I was discouraged a lot but I learned my lessons well and dusted myself off and kept going and he was waiting for me on my path. Live and learn and you will get where you need to be. I am living proof.
READERS: Do you have trouble getting responses online? Why do you think that is? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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I used to have a membership at a religious site and there was a forum where people complained no one looked at them. However, when you looked deeper, you could see why and that’s entitlement, I’m talking 50 year old men angry 25 year old women don’t want them or women angry men expect them to work. These people will never find a partner unless they change.
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