Do you ever wonder why some people seem to have no difficulty getting dates while others couldn’t get a date if their life depended on it? You might be thinking, well, life isn’t fair. While life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns, and some things are completely out of your control, but, in general, you get what you put in – or put out there – in life. This realization will help you be more successful at dating and life in general. Let’s break it down a little further …
What Makes Some People More Successful at Dating?
I spent quite some time dating UN-successfully before I realized what made people stand out from the crowd in the ever competitive dating world. I needed to get my act together and learn from my mistakes in order to find the love I was seeking … and guess what? I did and now I’ve got the love and the life I always wanted. Between my clients and the countless emails that I receive as well, I also see so many people making the SAME mistakes when dating. What makes some people more successful at dating? Read on to find out …
In my almost 20 years helping people communicate and market themselves better, one common recurring theme I encounter is people who are afraid to step out of their comfort zone. Their comfort zone is familiar, it’s easy, it’s what they know how to do well … the alternative is scary with so many unknowns and, eek, potential rejection. But when you’re single and dating love is on the OTHER SIDE of your comfort zone and stepping over to that other side could mean the difference between a successful dating life and being alone. Which would you rather?
Dealing with rejection is a normal part of life, you know that, but being brave enough to step into the unknown will definitely get you further. My clients who take my challenge to step outside their comfort zone and run with it, uncomfortable as it is, ALWAYS do much better at dating than people who decide to stick to their status quo.
Another thing I see quite often is inferior social and communication skills. Whether we like it or not we have to communicate on a daily basis. Whether it’s at home, at work, while shopping or in social situations, interpersonal interaction is a part of life. However, the reliance on technology to communicate has made it that much more challenging to actually have face-to-face conversations. People would rather text than speak on the telephone, online date rather than go out to meet people in person and engage in online activities rather than offline ones. It’s much easier to have a discussion and socialize online for many.
This is a problem when it comes to dating because successful daters are more comfortable in social situations, they know what to talk about, they have good conversation skills, they can read nonverbal cues, they are good listeners, they are charismatic and they have no problems talking to strangers. Simply put, those who know how to properly communicate get more dates and they are able to keep someone’s interest for more than 5 minutes.
Last but not least, I have encountered people who have difficulty with their physical appearance. I’m not saying only the most attractive individuals will find love, but those who take care of their physical appearance have more of a fighting chance than those who don’t. Sounds logical, right? Well, sadly it isn’t. Something as simple as wearing clothes that flatter you and are not dated makes a world of difference, regardless of your body type. Good personal hygiene and grooming do the same. Simple. Like it or not, people judge your appearance first and everything else second (admit it so do you!).
Being visually appealing sets you apart from the crowd in the competitive dating world. Give your dates (and potential dates) something positive to remember you by and don’t be a distraction because you smell or look “off”. Update your look as well as your image in order to market yourselves better. I’ve helped many clients do this and as soon as they did they immediately started getting more positive attention in the dating world. It’s something that’s completely in your hands to do.
What makes some people more successful at dating? They take an active role in marketing themselves in the most positive way possible. This includes stepping out of their comfort zone, excelling at interpersonal skills and enhancing their physical appearance. It takes work and a thick skin but doing these things will make you more successful at dating and put you on the path to your very own happily ever after.
READERS: Why are some people more successful at dating? Why do you think that is? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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Sounds good, but I think it’s too late for me being 62.
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It’s never too late Doug! You just have to try new ways of meeting people!
Urgghh I wonder this all the time- why some people have been in back to back relationships since the age of 14 and others are perpetually single! I think #2 is a big one.
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It’s definitely frustrating for many trying to figure out the key to successful dating. You’re right Alice communication is a big reason.
Great post and glad to see you blogging again. I have to agree, especially about the hygiene. I met so many men while doing online who didn’t know the meaning of the word bathe.
Thanks Dawn! Why in the modern day people still refuse to practice personal hygiene is beyond me!
I know, right? It made no sense to me because I am very particular with hygiene and expect the same of a man.
I think going out of her confort zone is the most hard to do but also the best thing to find someone, i was shy during my teenage years but now i feel so more confident! And i can see the difference..
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That’s great news! Lots of great things are found outside your comfort zone!
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