Having a sense of entitlement is defined as having the belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privilege. What does that have to do with being single and dating? Well, I would argue it has a lot to do with it. Time and again I see and work with singles whose sense of entitlement is the only thing standing in their way of lasting love. It’s one thing to have standards and values, however, it’s a whole other thing to believe you deserve something because you think you’re some sort of special. There is a trend to make everyone feel special these days – just look at all the memes and posts on social media. Yes, each person needs to feel valued and important, BUT it’s gone overboard. Everyone now is made to think and feel they are so special that no one is ever good enough for them. Read on to find out why your sense of entitlement is keeping you single.
Why Your Sense of Entitlement is Keeping You Single
Let’s first distinguish between a sense of entitlement and having standards.
We’ve already established that having a sense of entitlement is believing that you are deserving of or entitled to a certain privilege – or a certain type of partner and lifestyle – this could be height, looks, wealth, personality or any number of things. You don’t give others a fair chance because you feel you deserve only the best (or what you perceive to be the best). In contrast, having standards is establishing what is most important to you in a partner – this could be shared values, personality, interests, etc.
Both men and women are guilty of a sense of entitlement when dating. They feel they deserve the ideal picture perfect partner. For example, men who are over 40 and attractive, have a good job, a home and educated feel they deserve a woman in her 20s who’s gorgeous, smart and arm candy. Another example is women who are over 35, settled in their life and attractive wanting mister tall, dark and handsome charismatic alpha male to sweep them off their feet. These two examples are quite prominent in singles communities today and these people, unfortunately, will more than likely be doomed to be single because of their dating tunnel vision. It’s the harsh reality.
Those with a sense of entitlement really truly believe they are a “catch”, but, are they really? A good catch is typically caught quite early on. So if you’re not beating them off with a stick, then you need to re-examine your priorities and perhaps re-think what’s really important. Besides, if you want the 10/10 you have to be 10/10 – are you? Are you looking for hot arm candy? Then you need to also be hot arm candy. You need to have something of value to offer back to your desired partner. You have to be what THEY want too. In my experience, I often see people with conflicting priorities and desires. A bunch of great single people walking around who don’t want each other because of a sense of entitlement on both sides.
Signs That You Have a Sense of Entitlement
Here’s are some ways to determine if you or someone you know has a sense of entitlement … do any of these sound familiar? Even one or two?
- you have unrealistic expectations of others, especially when dating
- you’re a sore loser if things don’t go your way
- you believe you deserve the best of everything, even if you have to break rules or leave a trail of carnage behind you
- you don’t respect others’ boundaries or rights if it stands in the way of your success
- you’re always comparing yourself to others
- you feel that you’re special and believe others should think you are too
- you have narcissistic tendencies
- you look at dating as a caste system and don’t give real chances to those you believe are beneath you
What To Do About Your Sense of Entitlement
Good news, it’s not a lost cause. Putting aside your sense of entitlement and opening your eyes to new possibilities will lead you on an exciting journey towards attracting the love you desire. Here’s what you need to do:
- I always get my clients to write out their laundry list of absolutely everything they want in a partner (you can also find this useful activity in my eWorkBook). Then I ask them to put it in one of three columns – “must have”, “nice to have” or “dream on”. The “must have” column is what is really important, essential even, in a partner. Most will also whittle that list down once they start dating more seriously. This is all about establishing what things are essential … the rest is just pretty wrapping paper (especially physical attributes). You should try it, the exercise has been a real eye opener for everyone who tried it.
- Practice self-awareness. By realizing what you’re doing and figuring out why you’re doing it, what’s behind your sense of entitlement, will make a world of difference to your dating life.
- Live a life of gratitude. You need to appreciate who you are, what you have and the people in your life. When you practice gratitude you will start seeing what is truly important in life and let go of entitlement.
These are some great initial steps that will help your dating life immensely. Don’t pass over love because of a sense of entitlement. You never know what fabulous experience you’re missing out on!
READERS: Do you have a sense of entitlement when dating? Have you met anyone who has a sense of entitlement? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
If you need help with finding your true path in love, check out my dating support services here (I can create packages and services that meet any budget): https://singledatingdiva.com/helping-you-find-love/
Need help dealing better with your dating and love life? I’ve released my new workbook to help you attract the love you desire AND IT’S FREE… if you’re interested in receiving a free copy then click HERE and register your name to get the book, tell your friends too because this is a VERY VALUABLE resource! You CAN increase your datability and chances at your very own happily ever after (just like my clients AND me!), you just have to choose to get out of your comfort zone and start thinking strategically. I’ll show you how!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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