Physical attraction is what draws us to a person from the get go. Whether it’s on the street or online, our first impressions are the deciding factor to move forward or not. That’s why it’s always important to look good when you leave the house (ALWAYS) … and for goodness sake make sure your online profile picture is decent! Sometimes I feel like going through the profiles and messaging some guys to remove their pictures – you know the ones, the fat shirtless guy, the guy with lots of women surrounding him, the guy with four dogs, the guy with many empty bottles of beer around him. But it’s true, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. How many of you look at some of the people your friends date and go “huh” or even “gross”. I can speak for myself, sometimes I dated guys that were quite attractive to me but my friends thought I was on crack (actually it was pot … wait, did I say that out loud? well everyone looks good through the smokey haze!). So physical attractiveness is important … we’ve established that. But what about getting physical in a relationship? That’s what I will be talking about today.
I think it’s been clearly established that there should be no physical stuff the first date, kissing and otherwise (unless that’s the purpose of the liaison). But when is it too early, or too late, to engage in carnal pleasures? I think there is no clear answer to this question. It depends on the person and what your intentions are. Let me explain. If you are looking to casually date people and not really looking for a relationship, then “getting physical” early on isn’t as big of a deal. But there has to be an understanding that it’s casual and typically not exclusive – and no feelings, purely physical. What two consenting adults do together is their business … we all have needs, right? Oh stop turning away from the screen … you know I’m right! Friends With Benefits (FWB), hell ya … if you are both consenting, have an agreement and both actively date other people and can talk about it together, and your friendship is there with or without the sex, then you’re OK. Not to be confused with the Booty Call (BC) which is purely for sex, plain and simple, and usually takes place late at night and is short and sweet. Purely physical. Lots of options to ladies and gents who want to get it on, right? Only if you can separate sex from feelings, if you can’t then FWB and BC are NOT for you. Be forewarned! No judgement, I am a firm believer of “do what you want and what makes you happy” as long as no one gets hurt, and there is mutual consent. Just be smart about it.
Now what if you are looking for a long-term relationship? That’s another story. You need to hold out. As sexy as he is and how much he makes you hot and bothered … you need to wait. Sorry ladies. It’s essential. He needs to get to know you for you … and he needs to want you bad too … it keeps him interested … and will make it that much better and special once it happens 🙂 The less you give the more he wants you, and if he leaves you because you don’t put out then he obviously wasn’t “the one”. But you know that. So if we know this, why don’t we always do it? I think it’s a matter of self-control and security! Just know who you are and don’t define yourself by any relationship. Men come and go, but you have to be true to you. I know, I know it sounds like some self-help guru … but it’s true. Think about it logically.
Always remember that you need to embrace your sexuality and needs, but not at the expense of your self-respect. It’s normal and natural. Enjoy it, but do it for the right reasons with the right people. Just be safe and happy 🙂 Although some men are mesmerizing and make you melt like butter on a hot day, be smart. This makes me think of one of my dangerous liaisons … well, I’ve said enough for today … I’ll tell you about it later 😉
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva