Is it just me or is infidelity, cheating and adultery on the rise? It seems we’re hearing more and more about it. Is that because it’s happening more, or, is it that information is more readily available? Perhaps it’s a bit of both. There’s lots of talk about what cheating is and what cheating isn’t. Even I wrote something a while back that caused some controversy. I was asked to define cheating and I spoke about cheating as not only being a physical act but also emotional and mental, yes, mental. It’s worth giving it a read and seeing all the different perspectives in the comments. So back to our topic, has the face of infidelity, cheating and adultery changed?
The Demography of Infidelity, Cheating and Adultery
A short while back I came across this infographic that reflects who cheats and why. It cites some recent research from the Kinsey Institute that shows that infidelity is on the rise, particularly among women. Of those studied, it was found that 23.3% of men and 19.2% of women cheat while in a relationship. That isn’t much of a gap is it?
Some of the reasons they mentioned were:
- Sexually Dissatisfied: 30.9% of men & 23.6% of women
- Perceived Incompatibility: 27.6% of men & 21.4% of women
- Unhappy in Relationship: 35.7% of men & 32.7% of women
In Canada, the numbers are a bit lower … apparently of those surveyed, 12% said yes they had cheated, while 11% said “no answer” … well you can read into that what you’d like. Either way, infidelity, cheating and adultery is still going strong. But something that stood out to me was the question “Is adultery forgivable” and while 48% said no it’s not, 40% said it is. That’s a pretty high number, higher than I thought it would be.
The Changing Face of Infidelity, Cheating and Adultery
We’ve heard over and over again that the emergence of social media has made it easier for people to cheat. But is that true? I think it is. We all definitely have access to many more people and potential opportunities for affairs, intentional or not. It’s the reality of the world we live in. Sex is also more openly discussed, as are alternative lifestyles such as open relationships, swinging as well as polyamory. Whatever the case may be, what it means to be a couple is changing, or is it? Well, cheating really is anything you are doing behind your partner’s back without their full knowledge and blessing. So having multiple partners under the watchful eye (and participation) of your partner isn’t cheating. So what about that person you spend hours on chat or online games with? What about your “work wife”? How about the amount of time you’re spending online rather than being with your partner? Online dating sites, particularly the free ones, are full of married people looking for some attention or action on the side. Affairs have always been there, what’s changed is that it’s out in the open now. Many couples opt for staying together and exploring other sexual avenues as a couple rather than cheating. It’s becoming more socially acceptable and much more common. Is that a bad thing? No, I don’t think so, as long as both are willing participants. Anything outside of that is cheating. I always say that anyone given the right opportunity and circumstances is going to cheat. What those opportunities and circumstances might be is really up to each individual. But given these variables, cheating is still a path that is chosen, it is never forced upon anyone. Ask yourself, can I tell my partner about it? Would they give me their blessing? Yes, then tell them and go ahead. No, then stop in your tracks and determine why you want this.
Cheating is a Choice, NOT an Accident
We all know that cheating is a choice and NOT an accident. Whatever the reasons people cheat they choose to do so rather than working out challenges with their partners or, even ending their relationship. Essentially, it’s easier to cheat than to take responsibility for your relationship. The majority of people who cheat are regular people like you and me that are faced with a choice. We are all weak and we make mistakes, that’s true, but if you’re faced with the potential of being unfaithful then ask yourself WHY? Why do I want to cheat? Why am I not satisfied in my current relationship? What can I do to make it better? Is it time to say goodbye? Infidelity, cheating and adultery are never the answer. Be honest with yourself and with your partner and step away from the temptation. Step away from dishonesty.
Do you find that the face of infidelity, cheating and adultery have changed? Have you ever been cheated on or have you ever faced the temptation of cheating? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva