Why do “Bad Boys” Hurt Girls? Understanding A Heartbreaker: Guest Post

Rumor has it that the bad boys always get their girl but is that really true? If you think back over your dating history, you might find that you have had your fair share of hot looking but romantically dangerous men who may led you a right old game before it all ended.

So what is it about the bad boys that make them have so much appeal and why they actually hurt girls?

Why do “Bad Boys” Hurt Girls? Understanding A Heartbreaker

1. They take advantage of their natural sex appeal

bad-boysTo start off with, the bad boy is often blessed with perfect looks. Eyes that seem to see right through you into your soul, perfect teeth, and a smile that sends you into seventh heaven and then some and what about that chiseled torso and those muscular long legs?

Be careful! “Everything that looks too perfect is too perfect to be perfect.” Good looking guys are usually perfectly aware of their natural sex appeal and they know that they can use their charm whenever they want to seduce a girl. The bad guy stands out from the crowd, not just in the looks department but because he has charisma, charm and is, well, just different from the other guys. The bad boy often strays from the straight and narrow, not necessarily getting into trouble but meandering on the edge. He can be compulsive, strong-minded and like life in the fast lane.

2. They pick nice girls to suit their needs

Bad boys pick nice girls. They don’t want someone who plays the game the way that they do, they want a woman who they can mould to suit their needs. The problem is that these so called bad boys are self-assured and their natural confidence and style is an attractive quality. Because of it, nice girls often overlook nice guys and fell into the bad ones. Bad girls play dangerous too and that doesn’t appeal to the bad boy.

3. They are spoiled by girls

Do you give out mixed signals to these bad boys that you like it when they act like the ‘stereotypical bad boy’? After all, men are often told that they need to be strong for women, tough and don’t you all like a bit of hero worship?

Let’s be honest, both women and men are shallow in that we are attracted to those who have a nice face and a great body. Would the bad guy be quite so successful if he was pit ugly in our eyes? This isn’t to say that looks are everything, but looks count if we are going to be attracted to someone initially and the proverbial bad guy can be the ultimate tease.

4. They know that women are players too

Females are players too, but men can deal better with emotions, so they are naturally better in the love game. Girls want to change him, mould him into the man who falls madly in love and who would do anything for us, it might be an old romantic cliché but deep down, most women are romantic and do want to experience those moments of being swept off of their feet.

Importantly, they don’t really seem to care what others think. So when the nice girl throws her lot into the romantic ring with him, all she sees is the potential exciting roller-coaster of a ride and the opportunity to make the bad boy fall in love. Raw attraction and a great deal of natural sex appeal can be devastating weapons, no wonder women succumb at least one time in their romantic lives.

5. They use the fact that women don’t know what they want

But women really need to think about what they want in life. If you want romance, tenderness and a caring and sensitive man, the bad guy isn’t really going to give you that. But on the other hand, if you are in the mood for some fun, with your local predatory Romeo, then go for it, providing your reasons are sound and they are not a mask for some deeper feelings lurking beneath.

Of course even the bad boys fall in love eventually but that could be years ahead when they are starting to get fed up of their roaming ways or when their looks start to fail, whichever happens first. Do you really want to hang around just to see whether the bad boy can give you more chemistry than the proverbial guy next door type?

Flirting is great with a bad boy but just remember that for most, available women are a necessary and easy commodity. The bad boy has a conveyor belt syndrome, when one it’s over with one woman, there is always another to take her place. Don’t be next on the list, instead choose someone who is strong minded, yet caring and who isn’t afraid to put you and only you first.

READERS: Do you agree? Why do you think that bad guys hurt girls? Has this happened to you? Share your story in the comments below!

Patrick-BanksPatrick Banks is a Berlin based writer with over 5 years of experience providing dating advice. He is a fierce optimist who believes in the power of making life happen; enjoy being single and making the most of it. He offers advice on dating at Wingman Magazine .


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Single Dating Diva

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  1. Many women don’t know what they want – an excellent observation.

    Many men do not want ‘the permanent thing’ – only to stick around as long as it is fun. Relationships have their ups and downs: they are not always fun.

    Adversity can bring us together, for that matter.


  2. I’m a good girl and I love good guys. I do get hit on by bad guys and the ones that want to connect change and make efforts to show me their change. Maybe it’s because I earnestly am not interested in their bad ass mantra. I just keep moving forward [without them] and they keep in touch [friendship] and share their growth moments with me [i.e. i’m not carrying guns anymore; i’m working on the way i respond to things that upset me, etc.]. not ultimately sure what the difference is, but the communicate that they recognize it and they are working on being better so they can come back at me. in the meantime… i date. i’m going to have to take a poll.


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