Is the prospect of dating and “putting yourself out there” freaking you out? Have you been out of the dating scene for a while? Have you just had one too many bad experiences that you’ve given up on dating altogether? Have you been really hurt? Does every date you go on leave you wondering if there are any more normal people out there? Dating can be downright scary and challenging, not to mention competitive! So what do you do? Stay single? Boycott dating altogether? Nah … dating shouldn’t be so scary! Actually, dating, on the most part, should be an enjoyable experience. If it’s been scary then you need to read on … here are 5 ways to make your dating life not so scary!
5 Ways to Make Dating Not So Scary
If dating has left you skittish and hesitant to really try, then you’re going to have to stop and think for a moment why that is. If your dating life is kind of scary, then there’s a reason for it. Perhaps it has been your experiences, perhaps the people you meet have been more on the unsavoury side … whatever the case may be, it’s time to rethink your dating life, here’s some help!
1: Perspective is Everything
When your change your outlook or point of view on something, that something changes too. This is true of dating as well. You need to approach dating differently. Many focus too much on the outcome and don’t enjoy the process. Dating should be slow and steady, not fast. Going zero to sixty in a matter or days does not a long term relationship make. Enjoy getting to know each other and everything will fall into place where it should. It may last a date or forever, but you won’t get there if you’re always projecting your own expectations on someone and getting emotionally invested too quickly. One day at a time, one step at a time will definitely make dating less scary.
2: Attitude of Gratitude
Gratitude most certainly brings love your way. How? By helping you focus on what’s most important – the experience. You should be grateful for each and every dating experience you have, good or bad, because they all have taught you about what you want or don’t want in a partner. Also, being grateful in life also attracts positive things into your life. I challenge each and every one of you to list five things you’re grateful for each morning and see how it enhances your life overall. An attitude of gratitude always makes dating less scary.
3: Choose to be Choosy
Dating and the people you date are all people you choose. You make a conscious choice to go out with them. We all make good and bad choices in life, it’s part of our journey, but we sometimes get sucked into making bad choices because we’re lonely, they talk a good talk or sometimes we even do it on purpose because we know we’ll get a good story or experience out of it (drama anyone?). Whatever the case may be, when you choose better you date better. It will most likely mean that you will date less quantity but certainly more quality which definitely isn’t a bad thing. Don’t read between the lines or analyze a situation if someone tells you they’re not interested in anything real with you, when they tell you what they want, believe them because you can’t change them. If someone wants to be with you they will be so if you’re not on the same page with someone, move on and spare your heart. So establish what your dealmakers and dealbreakers are and choose to be choosy making dating less scary.
4: Have Fun
Dating can be fun, no, really. It’s all about perspective and managing your expectations. This includes not taking everything so seriously in the beginning, especially on a first date. A first date is just a “getting to know you” and establishing – 1: whether or not you’re actually attracted to them, and 2: whether you want to see them again. Not more, not less. Date fun by going places you enjoy and doing things that you like. Change it up, you don’t have to go to grab a coffee or drinks all the time, find out what fun things are going on where you live and go experience them with someone, trust me it will make your date much more fun, and, if it works out great, if it doesn’t that’s great too because you didn’t expect anything. Having fun will most certainly make dating less scary,
5: Be Happily Single
You’ve heard it before, you can’t be happy with others if you’re not happy yourself, but it really is true. Being happily single means that you don’t need anyone, you’ve got a great, fulfilling life on your own … it means you’re are complete on your own and all you want is someone to share it with. Desperation is NOT attractive and potential dates can smell it a mile away and they run for the hills. Fill your life with things and people you love and the rest will fall into place. Being happily single will make dating less scary because it equals no pressure dating (the best kind!).
As you can see, dating doesn’t have to be so scary, it can actually be a positive experience, but it’s really all up to you. Dating is what you make it, so if it’s scary then you have to look inside yourself and ask yourself why. There are douchebags and not so nice people out there that make dating scary, but they are far less common than most would have you believe. Be brave and put your best self out there and you’ll be glad you did!
READERS: Has your dating life left you skittish and hesitant to really try? Is your dating life scary? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Want to learn how to make dating not so scary? I’ve released my new workbook to help you attract the love you desire AND IT’S FREE… if you’re interested in receiving a free copy then click HERE and register your name to get the book, tell your friends too because this is a VERY VALUABLE resource! You CAN increase your datability and chances at your very own happily ever after (just like my clients AND me!), you just have to choose to get out of your comfort zone and start thinking strategically. I’ll show you how!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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Once again a great post.
Wow, posts like this keeps me going back for more. 😀
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