I do not know how many times I have heard from clients or others that they never got “closure” from someone they were speaking to but “If you really want closure at some point, you have to shut the door.” [Jacki Wells-Wunderlin] Let us break this down a bit. Along with the desire for closure are the words from others, typically, “just get over it”. Well it happens to be “National Get Over It Day” believe it or not. But what does that even mean and is it healthy?
How to shut the door and get over it:
- Choose to sever connections and shut the door.
- Allow yourself to feel the pain.
- Talk about it with friends, family, a coach or therapist.
- Journal about it including having gratitude for the experience.
- Give it time.
- Embrace and enjoy your new normal.
On some level getting over it is to recover from whatever is ailing us, even if it is just that guy or gal who ghosted us. Each person, however, has their own process of healing. Feel the pain, that is OK but as long as the pity parties and overthinking do not overwhelm you or take over your life, then let yourself go there for a bit, then, move on.
Talking about it with your friends, family, a coach or therapist can definitely help you get it off your chest and work it through. Venting can help and you can get another opinion or perspective on the situation.
The thing is, you may think you need closure but in all honesty, you do not. Never in the history of ghosting or leaving has anyone really given the other what they really needed. You had your answer when they severed you from their life. You do not need to know why. It is just your ego wanting to be appeased.
Healing takes time but it is a choice. You need to choose to move on. You need to choose to take back your power. You need to choose to take back control of your thoughts. There is no magic formula or schedule, just a willingness to make it happen.
As change is part of letting go and getting over it – perhaps a relationship or friendship breakup, a loss or even just a ghoster – try and embrace your “new normal”. Find new ways of bringing yourself joy and filling your own cup with things that make you happy.
In the end, getting over your past, letting go, means living fully in the present and looking forward to a better future. It is a choice so choose it.
TRY THIS: If there is something you are holding on to and is taking up space in your mind, forge a plan that will help you get over it and let go because it is not worth the space in your head.
POST IT NOTE: I will shut the door for closure
Click for recorded segment exclusively on BlastTheRadio.com: GET OVER IT [7:30 min]
One. Step. At. A. Time.
Suzie
Coach Suzie 