Everyone wants that special someone to spend the rest of their lives with.  A companion to share the good, bad and the ugly times.  As divorce rates keep climbing and marriage rates keep declining, can we say this is a realistic notion?  Is it still possible to expect a one true love that will last forever?  I’m leaning on the “no” side.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not being pessimistic, just realistic.  I think it’s still possible, but not probable.  How many people do you see growing old together?  Even people who have been married for 30 years are separating.  So is this a realistic thing to hope for?

I think that times have changed.  People have changed.  We cannot place the same limits and expectations on people as we used to.  The concept of forever is for dreamers.  This doesn’t mean people can’t have relationships until the end of their lives, but it’s more likely than not they won’t end up who they started with.  In a world where freedom and variety is preferred over stability I don’t think this will change.  Is that such a bad thing?  Depends who you ask.  It could make for a lonely existence if you’re in and out of relationships your whole life.  However, it could be more satisfying in the long run.

Let me explain.  Our personal, physical and emotional needs change over time as we age.  Traditionally and in a perfect world, relationships adapt and change to meet the needs of the couple.  Realistically, no one wants to put the effort in, particularly when there is someone waiting in the wings who will easily meet the needs they have without waiting for their partner to catch up.  It’s a world of instant gratification … this makes for many shorter term liaisons and fewer long term relationships.

So what if we want someone to grow old with?  I mean, isn’t that the ultimate goal? Most online profiles have something to that effect written.  So if that’s what we want, why aren’t we willing to work for it?  It’s because it’s work.  We feel relationships should be easy, effortless.  I agree they should be, but there will be rough patches and challenges.  Our ability to face these with our partner, together, will determine the outcome.  So, are you willing to put in the effort?  If you want forever, then get ready for hard work.  Just make sure you have a partner who also is a hard worker … because then you’ll end up like me at the end of my marriage – pulling the whole train while your partner sits with their feet up in the caboose.

Here’s hoping we will all find that special someone who WON’T put us in a nursing home when we’re old!

Happy Dating!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

Originally Published on Singles Warehouse