What makes relationships last? Why it’s consistency of course … you thought I would say love and affection didn’t you? Well, it’s those things too … along with friendship, respect. trust and attraction. But, I’d like to argue that consistency is the most important thing … it’s consistency in all those things … love, affection, attraction, friendship, respect, trust, etc etc.
No one wants to ride a roller coaster ride of ups and downs in their relationship. They want to know that their partner is always there when they need them, especially in the hard times. So why is consistency and dating the long term relationship indicator? Because, well, I’ll tell you.
Choosing Your Partner Wisely
I’ve said many times before that forever has everything to do with your choice of partner, which is absolutely true. You need to choose wisely. Part of choosing wisely is knowing if this person is a good fit in your life or not. I’ve met some great “good on paper” guys who were really nice and by all intents and purposes “good partner material” but I just didn’t feel a connection or I felt that our lifestyles weren’t compatible. Just because someone is nice and has their act together doesn’t make them a good catch. There also has to be a compatibility factor – that’s really important. Ask yourself, do we “click” on every level? Physically, emotionally, mentally? It’s OK to reject someone based on “not feeling it”. You should never have to force it, never.
I have also dated some seemingly great guys who just were consistently inconsistent. It’s a toxic combination. You could always count on these types to not keep their word, you could always count on them to say one thing and do another, you are guaranteed that they will surprise you with random craziness, some of it hurtful. They are all words and hardly any action unless it suits them and their purposes, emotionally unavailable, random types. But that’s another story …
Consistency and Dating: The Long Term Relationship Indicator
So back to consistency. What does it mean anyway? It means that you could set your clock by this person. You can always trust that they will always be there for you. You know that through the good and bad times they will be standing beside you. When you need them most they will be the first one to hold your hand or give you that much needed hug. You know that exercise they make couples do, the one that one partner falls back and trusts that the other partner will catch them. That, my friends, is consistency. You know that they love you and you can count on their love. In the same way you know that after a hard day you’re coming home to them … your peace, your happy place, your consistency.
This is a long term relationship indicator because relationships shouldn’t be a challenge. You shouldn’t have to sit there wondering or analyzing things because you don’t know or aren’t sure of their feelings or intentions. You will know. Relationships should run smoothly. No doubt you will have some bumps in the road, but they should be things that you can work through. When someone is consistent then you know what to expect, it provides stability and you know where you stand. It’s simple really. Why would you want anything less?
READERS: Do you agree that consistency is a long term relationship indicator? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Sometimes relationships will be hard but you are right – a good long term indicator is a relationship thats fun and easy.
I definitely agree with you….
BUT I think it takes maturity to truly appreciate consistency. Many of my friends have interpreted consistency as “boring” 😦
I was thinking the same thing – when I was younger, I didn’t appreciate consistency the way I do now. It takes a mature person to be consistent and another mature person to recognize that consistency is valuable.
I definitely agree that consistency is a long term relationship indicator. I actually just wrote a post last week where I stressed the fact that consistency is key!
If a man is not consistent, it’s definitely a red flag! Consistency let’s a woman know that a man is who he claims himself to be and also gives a woman insight on how the man will always treat her going forward.
Consistency gives us comfort while inconsistency gives us insecurity, fear, and anxiety over the relationship among other things. Great article!
Thanks Dee! You’re right … when a person is consistent they are demonstrating that the other person is in fact an important part of their lives … we deserve nothing less!
I love, love, love this post! This is something I’ve realised recently: as great as some guys are, if they aren’t consistent, they don’t make good partners (for me, anyway). It’s all about picking a stable guy. Thanks for a fabulous post.
Thanks Jennifer! So glad you enjoyed the post. You are so right! Stability is the key to a harmonious dating experience.
You write a lot of good stuff SDD but this may be the best thing I’ve seen from you…
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