Another new year is right around the corner and before you start thinking “resolutions”, I would like to challenge you to reflect on some of the things that didn’t go so well this past year in your dating life. I’m a big advocate of “living and learning”. Every experience is an opportunity to learn and change our strategies. Keep what works, give up what doesn’t work. We all have bad dating habits that we play on repeat – over and over and over again. Sometimes it’s because of comfort with a situation (even if it’s bad) or sometimes it could be because of fear of doing something different. But, until you give up these bad dating habits, you can’t move on to bigger and better things! Read on to find out what bad dating habits you need to give up before the new year!
Give Up These BAD Dating Habits Before The New Year…
Engaging in Textationships
If you find yourself online dating and messaging back and forth without a date in sight, you might be engaging in textationships. A textationship is, essentially, when all you are doing is chatting, it could feel so comfortable, you might even feel like you’re falling for them BUT you’ve never met in person. In fact, they’ve never initiated a date with you, or if you initiated they always make excuses. If you’re looking for something real, you need to give up this bad dating habit and don’t over-text eachother, don’t send pictures, but meet in person within two weeks of meeting online. No exceptions. Anyone who wants something real and isn’t a time waster will want to meet you too. Period.
Letting Loneliness Cloud Judgment
Being single is hard, especially over the holidays. It could be very lonely, even if you’re surrounded by loved ones. It’s totally understandable that you might fall for the wrong kind of person when you’re feeling your most vulnerable. They just have to say the right things, make you feel good about yourself and BAM you’re hooked. Red flags be damned. But you need to give up this bad dating habit and don’t let loneliness cloud your judgement when dating. The temptation will present itself but you need to be stronger. You need to find something else to fill that feeling of emptiness. That temporary feeling of fulfillment will most likely result in feeling pretty crappy after the fact and full of regret.
Expecting Too Much Too Fast
Managing your expectations, enjoying the dating process and taking it slow seem to have fallen by the wayside it seems. Everyone is in a hurry to meet their soulmate who will give them immediate fireworks and experience insane chemistry from the start. But as I always say, a fire the burns too hot too fast will burn out just as fast! There are also those who feel that they don’t want to waste time getting to know someone if they’re not really going to fit the mold that they created for their ideal partner, so they spend the entire date interviewing or analyzing them, kicking them to the curb if they don’t fit the bill. This is the WRONG way to date. You need to give up this bad dating habit and remember that slow and steady wins the race when looking for a life partner. Take things one date at a time, don’t think of the end goal just think if you’re attracted to them and if they are interesting. Things always end up where they’re supposed to and if it doesn’t work out it’s NOT a waste of time, it’s a lesson learned. Plain. Simple.
Enabling Bad Behavior
Do you encourage and accept bad behavior by others towards you? This could be accepting them disrespecting you, using you for money or sex, calling you only when they want to, leading you on, etc (you get the picture). You could be doing this because of your fear of being alone or perhaps misguided affection or maybe because you don’t think there are any better options. Give up this bad dating habit because enabling has ruined your dating life! You need to replace it by self-respect and intolerance to bad behavior. Only you can do this. Don’t blame them, blame yourself because people will treat you how you let them treat you. It’s simple.
Entertaining Long Distance Online Dating
The internet has afforded us an incredible opportunity to connect with people around the world, but, this has also opened the door to some bad situations. Certain people are preying on lonely and single people to enter romantic relationships, perhaps send money and even bring them over to a better life. Both are desperate but for different reasons. While meeting someone from a foreign country may seem exotic and romantic, and while they may seem charming and too good to be true, it’s full of risk, both emotional and financial! Give up this bad dating habit because long distance online dating ISN’T your solution. Before you add & communicate with a stranger online ask yourself: Where are they from? How did they find you? what do they want from you? Why did they add a complete stranger? Who are they really? Stick to people in your vicinity, even if it takes longer to find what you’re looking for.
Sharing Personal Information and Pictures Online
How many times have you been chatting with someone online and they ask you to send more pictures? How about asking for more personal information about yourself? Have you ever volunteered this information yourself? Trying to brag or even talk about how successful you are or what you have? This all needs to STOP. First of all, if they want to see more of you (naked or not) other than what’s in your profile they can meet you in person. That’s it. That’s all. It’s a great test to see if they are actually interested in you for real. Once you release pictures and information to these STRANGERS you don’t know what they are going to do with it. Give up this bad dating habit and pull the breaks on sharing any personal information and pictures online.
Putting Yourself in Unsafe Situations
The problem with chatting with someone online too much before meeting in person is that it could give you a false sense of security, but STRANGER DANGER IS REAL! This person you’re chatting with is a complete stranger who is telling you whatever they want to tell you about themselves. Don’t put yourself at risk, regardless of how comfortable you feel. This means meeting in public for at least the first couple of dates – NEVER a home date. You also need to protect your identity, don’t overshare personal information and any pictures you post shouldn’t have identifying aspects to them (like your house or place of work). Give up this bad dating habit by protecting yourself and thinking about what dating choices you make.
I’ll bet this one surprised you! Why is online dating a bad dating habit you ask? Well, the problem with online dating is that it has made people somewhat anti-social and lazy. It’s so easy to swipe left or right, or scroll through what seems like endless pictures that you forget what it’s like to actually meet someone in person. Online dating has also brought out the liars, cheaters and narcissists. While online dating may be a necessary evil when dating in the digital age, you also need to take it offline. Give up this bad dating habit of only online dating by attempting to meet people the old-fashioned way – through friends, in your community, at events, at activities, at hobbies, while volunteering … you get the picture.
If you’re serious about finding love, you need to give up these bad dating habits before the new year! You’ll have a less stressful dating life and put yourself on true love’s path – no drama, no grief, no stress – just love one step at a time! Happy New Year everyone! I hope the new year bring lots and lots of love and happiness to your life!!
You want to give up these bad dating habits for good? Give up your NONSENSE dating and love life and trade it in for NO NONSENSE dating and love … My word for 2019 is NO NONSENSE and I’ve teamed up with a Law of Attraction coach to help you do just that! Visit NoNonsenseLove.com to find out how!
READERS: What are some bad dating habits that you’re going to give up this year? Share your thoughts & perspective in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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Once again great post. I have mentioned this before but I am one of the few people I know who have had decent experience the last few times I did online dating. No, I didn’t meet “the one” or for that matter, a second date but I did meet decent guys because I was safe. I didn’t give them much information before meeting, I meet right away and in a public place. I’ve known a few who fell for scams, for men they slept with right away and of course he never called back and so much more. I had guys who wanted to meet me at their house or mine and I said no. Most of them stopped contacting me, which means they had more on their mind. I’m a big believer in friends first and taking it slow.
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