The dating world can be very confusing especially when there seems to be new lingo or slang or terms or acronyms emerging every day – fear not, I’m here to help clarify things a little for you.
Dating Lingo Defined
Here are some of the most common terms you might encounter …
Catfishing: tricking someone via a fake online profile (dating or social media), you might get a sob story, they might ask for money. [Read: How To Spot A Catfish – My Own Catfish Adventure]
Ghosting: someone that disappears into thin air or into a black hole after a date or two, or even chatting, it happens out of nowhere. A slow fade is when they slowly ghost out of your life. [Read: What To Do When You’ve Been Ghosted]
Textationship/Textual Relationship: communication online / on phone that feels like a real relationship, great chemistry, great rapport but never results in a real face to face encounter or romantic relationship IRL (in real life) [Read: Online Dating and All You Are Getting Are Textationships?]
Hang Out/Talking: when someone asks you to “hang out”, they’re asking you to go on a date that really isn’t a date, it’s casual, non-committal, it keeps the options open and lends itself to friend zones and casual sex rather than relationships – or “talking” it’s not official.
Zombie/Haunting: just when you think someone has disappeared out of your life, perhaps they’ve ghosted, but they reappear, like the undead, lurking and testing the casual waters, you get random texts and perhaps a booty call in the middle of the night.
Breadcrumbing/Benching: giving you just enough contact and hope to keep you attached but never really committing. You’re usually their backup plan. [Read: How To Know You’re Dating A Time Waster]
Here are some others you might have heard of …
Cuffing / Uncuffing: cuffing season is usually during winter when people really want to have someone in their life because of holidays and cold weather. Uncuffing season is when the weather is nice and people enjoy being single and mingling.
Thirsty: being a thirsty single is being a desperate single … people can smell desperation a mile away and it usually makes them run for the hills. Thirsty singles are prime targets for catfishers. [Read: Why Desperation and Insecurity are NOT Attractive When Dating]
Catch & Release: refers to daters who are one-date-wonders, they lure you in, you have a fantastic date and then they move on looking for the next exciting thrill. They thrive on the chase rather than looking for the actual relationship.
FWB (Friends with Benefits): a “friend” that you have casual sex with, it rarely results in a real romantic relationship. [Read: Does Friends With Benefits Work?]
Netflix & Chill: refers to an “at home date” under the guise of watching Netflix but there are ulterior motives of sex. [Read: Is A Home Date Really a Date?]
Monkeying: bouncing from date to date, relationship to relationship, like a monkey swinging from trees to trees in the jungle.
Watch my CTV Morning Live Ottawa segment defining some of these terms …
READERS: Are there any I missed? Would you add any to the list? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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Very good post. I have used most of these terms because hey are so right.
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Thanks Dawn … sad but true, experiencing and using these terms are soooo common these days!
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Would you be able to send me more information about men’s comments about “not wanting drama or baggage” in their dating site descriptions describing their choice of female partner. I act in community theatre productions, and am 61 years old. I really don’t understand the term. I was raised to think that in a healthy relationship, men and women would support each other and talk over issues so a compromise was always worked out. It’s impossible to avoid all remnants of a past life. More men then women mention their aversion to “drama” in their checklist for dating possibilities. Why is that? Are men becoming more selfish, and if so, why would you want to have anything to do with men who aren’t interested in providing morale support if needed. Is this now supposed to come just from the woman?
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Would like to see the term “not into drama” included in the dating lingo list and its meaning.
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Thanks for your question Linda. When someone says they’re “not into drama,” it tells me they’re looking for a peaceful relationship that doesn’t include stressful situations like crazy exes, jealousy, instability, etc. But it also tells me they’ve experienced “drama” before and don’t want to repeat it. Happy to clarify more if you need! If you need a confidential conversation please feel free to send me a message via my contact form.
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Yes, exactly. My experience has been if someone dealt with something traumatic they consider it baggage. While we would like to think love conquers love, this isn’t true and people don’t want to deal with something that gave them trouble.
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When I say baggage (I’m a woman) I mean no kids. I consider that baggage and something I have zero interest in accepting. Everyone has something they consider baggage. I have dated men with kids and never again so I am honest. People should always be honest.
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I have to say here that innocent children are human beings, and I would never consider a child “baggage” or a problem. Not all children are maladjusted monsters looking to break up dad or mom’s new relationships. I may feel that a guy with children, especially if they are young and live with him, has enough on his plate already, and would probably do better having a relationship with a lady who also has young children. This couple can help each other raise these kids. I don’t have children, so wouldn’t understand a guy with kids’ situation as well. You really have to know yourself well to understand what you can or can’t accept. People shouldn’t be so quick to give up a good romantic partner just because there are children involved. It takes time seeing each other in different situations to know.
Regarding your comment, Suzi, about people wanting peaceful relationships, not “Drama”, I have to say that I don’t think any couple these days will ever have a totally “peaceful” relationship. There will always be ups and downs and men, as well as women, need maturity and lots of patience and communication skills, love and a strong desire to make necessary compromises to make a relationship work well. More men than women on dating sites stress that they don’t want “drama” in their lives. I would question the emotional maturity of any guy who puts an emphasis on finding an attractive woman (no one stays eternally yummy) who wants a sex pal who will travel around the world with him (while paying her own bills, of course). That’s not reality, folks, that’s never-never land. I’m looking for a fella who is a good listener, is prepared to work through problems together, can compromise, willing to see the best in his partner, a good conversationalist and is able to give and take. A good relationship between people takes hard work – as much as a regular job, I wish more couples would accept that. Marriage or a long-term romantic relationship is not for the weak-minded, or the selfish, self-centered type – man or woman. Just saying…
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Not all kids are bad but all bring issues that can be difficult to someone without kids. Not all kids are innocent either, there are many brats, especially if the parents are divorced or never married.I worked with kids and the kids with parents not together are usually more of a handful. I’m not interested in raising or supporting other kids so I avoid dads. It’s best for me and I am not changing but yes children bring baggage.
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